RIP Shane Part 2

To lose a child is simply not in the natural order of things. Death is never easy to deal with. We love our loved ones and it hurts when they leave this world to enter the eternal one. Some how though as we age, we know that sooner or later death is certain to come. So when our grand parents go, our parents even, we knew it was coming.

No amount of knowing can prepare you and yet somehow, some way it does make it bearable.

Tonight, when these two parents seen their son for the last time laying in that casket, well, it broke me.

It crushed me.

It opened something inside of me that I didn't know what there and it tore it apart. Pain ripped through me. Thoughts of every kind. Help them Jesus. Ease their pain. Oh God, I'm so glad it wasn't my child. What if it were. What would I do? How would I handle things.

The daddy, he trembled, he shook. He seen spots, he almost passed out. His family gathered around him and coached him and told him it would be okay. Really, I thought? Really? You have the audacity to stand there and say words to this man who just lost his only son to try and comfort him?

He groaned. "I want to go with him! I just want to go with him!" He cried. Me too I thought. Me too. If that were my baby laying there I'd want to go to.

The mom, barely holding it together herself, mustered enough strength to command her husband to sit up and breathe. They had a daughter to live for. They could do this.

Until they reached the casket.

They crumbled.

I've never in my life seen people break to core like this. They held their son, they yelled, they pleaded. They loved him so much. "He's cold. My baby is cold. Help me get him up. Help me get him out of here. I need to get him a blanket. Someone please! Help me y'all." His father cried. I trembled. I lost it. I went into that deep place that had been opened up and I hated it. What could I do, what could I say. How could I help?

"He's not here," I heard come out of my mouth, "He's with the Lord." Where did that come from? That reality that their son was gone on before them. He was with the Father. The realization sunk in. And yet I was so angry.

Why? Why did this have to happen. Why are there so many things we can't understand now. Why must we wait so long for answers. Will we ever get them?

Finally it was time to go. "Let me see my boy just one last time" they plead. God how could they endure. A family that has been through more tragedy in their lives than I've ever read in a novel. How did they keep their sanity.

Did they?

Or did they just exist now. Floating along in this place of numbness.

Will they ever recover?

Lord please, I pray, in Jesus precious name, strengthen them. Help them to keep their sanity. Amen.

 His sister at the memorial held the day before the funeral.

A Senior Class who lost a classmate that was loved by all. 

Life as we all know it will never be the same. 

Another memorial will be held tomorrow night 8/31/13 at 7pm at Dehart Park in Woolwine. Shane's ashes will be scattered among his friends and family. Please keep Patrick County in your prayers and especially the parents, sister, and family from this tragic loss. 

God be with us all. 

People

It's so hard for me to grasp some people. I'm sure these ramblings are completely irrelevant but today I will voice them just the same.

How can you abandon your children and not accept the blame for that? How can you stay in touch with your daughter's ex husband who cheated on and almost destroyed your daughter? Is it to pay her back? To hurt her because she doesn't want you in her life any longer? Does it make you feel better about your selfish decisions?

You leave behind a son who is almost 14 but can't read or even write his own name and no one can do anything to help him because you filed religious exemption in the state of VA before you abandoned your family.

Now you have yet another daughter who has a chance at a fresh start and you and your ex her own father are going to scream the C word to try and get her to stay. Parents are suppose to take care of their children not the other way around.

You're fake. You're selfish. You're a liar. You both are. This isn't judgement it's an observation. It's truth.

No one is perfect but to knowingly continue to hurt your children is dead wrong. Both of you should be ashamed.

I pray the Lord open up doors to take them all out of both of your lives for good. Both of you should stop threatening everyone with your sob suicide stories and grow up.

If you are reading this please pray for this family. It's hard being so close to these children and sit idley by while their parents mentally destroy them. Even though two of these kids are of legal age the abuse continues. My heart cry is for it to STOP!

Enough rant. Sigh........

(If you feel that this relates to you then take it for what it's worth. There are no names here. My blog isn't to single anyone out. I take situations in my life and deal with them here. I have since 2007. This could apply to many in my life-it's not singled out to one family in general.)

Jumbled Brain

Too much information smashed into one little head already. And today was only Medi Tech training for the COWs (computers on wheels) at the hospital I will be training in. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I love going to the book store and picking up new supplies for this semester. Thankfully all my books were purchased last semester so my needs list was very short. I picked up several study guides and I read them all tonight. I'm so thankful for these. They will slip right into my binders and make for great little reminders when you know something but it's just not coming to you.

Studying is what I'm doing. I'm continuing to plunge through my 30 sum page chapter in Fundamentals on medication administration, practicing drug dosage math and prereading my Pharmacology. It's going to be one doozie of a semester.

Last semester I worked in the nursing home, I'm so looking forward to working in the hospital. Lots of exciting things coming.

Heaven and I are going to the Farmer's Market in the morning. I haven't been in a long while and I'm looking forward to seeing what goodies they have.

Sky and her friend Becca cleaned out my classroom today so I'm going to put some time into painting and "redressing" the room into my study for nursing school. Lots of goodies coming for it. I also plan to distress a China Hutch that belonged to my long lost Nannie West this spring. I'm going to incorporate some earthy toned colors with accents of aqua and different hues of blue. Blue is my favorite color. Sapphire is my birthstone. I'm going to make Meadow a little nook (corner) for her sewing machine, supplies and new goodies she got for Christmas. It feels good to have this little project under way. I'm so happy with my home. I've got my bedroom exactly like I wanted it, my kitchen is done, and the den is done. So now on to my new study.

I use to want to move to badly. I always felt as though this house belonged to my mother in law. It took years for it to feel like home. We've been planted here since 1997. That is a long time to live in one place. I remember our years of renting and house hopping and it makes me even more grateful for our home. I love it here. The peaceful homey feeling. It's not perfect but it's our perfectness in it's own way.

I've built up a lovely collection of gorgeous red dishes. Some Paula Deen some not. My kitchen has one wall that I paint every so often when I bore of the colors. I started off with a Biltmore Estate shade of purple. It lasted about a year and I was ready for a change. I went with the bricky looking Paula Deen red and I love it so much all we have to do is touch it up. I have had no desire to change it since we've had it done. It's a cool shade. I have a curtain with a coffee house theme and it has the same bricky red and a touch of aqua in it. I'm really excited to bleed that aqua over into my study. It's going to be a great blend.

I have to say my favorite thing in our home is our fireplace. For years it was covered up by a board. I never understood why. Then one day inspiration hit me and I pulled that board down and cleaned and cleaned that fireplace. We carpeted that room and painted it a coffee creamer color and then added gas logs to the fireplace. Stunning it is. There is an old hand built fireplace mantel that adds just the right personality.

Meadow wants to go to Kmart when she gets home tomorrow to pick up some clothes. She wants colored jeans. I can't believe those things are back in! It's so 80's! I have to laugh. I remember those days. Even now I just don't care for colored jeans.

I sure love me some cow girl boots though! These are the ones Tony got me for Christmas......

I love them. They are Corrals and they are so comfortable. I've tried on everything from Ariats, Tony Lamas, and Old Gringos. Let me tell you, nothing compares to these. The soft feel of leather and notice the square toe. They are amazing. Only a few styles come with the square toe. I plan on ordering another pair in February that have some aqua in them. I haven't decided if I'm going to do all aqua or just accented aqua. I love them all. :) I highly doubt the aqua ones I've been looking at are square toed though. I'll have to go with pointed toes on those.

Well, I think I've rambled long enough. I've talked on just about any and everything just jumping around on no particular theme-oh yes- that's right- Jumbled Brain! That's okay though, my life is just like that, I love it that way. Never boring.

Sleepy Saturdays

This semester my escape has been Dawson's Creek. We've never had cable television and never watched a lot of T.V. We do however have Netflix. So, I decided to find a old show that was complete that I could watch alone and on my time. The one draw back that I found with this was that I would often escape to Dawson's Creek when I could have been studying more. I knew that I really needed to finish the seasons before school went back next week.

 I stayed up until 4 a.m. finishing it last night. The last three episodes of their last season, season 6, were so good. I cried for over an hour while watching. It was so bittersweet because once I'd finished the show there was like a piece of me was gone. I was happy with the ending though. Very satisfied.

I slept in today and Tony being such a sweet man came to wake me around 12. My sleeping schedule over the holidays reminds me of my homeschooling schedule. I always revert back to my night owl lifestyle when left to my own free will. It has its pros and cons. Tony fixed me chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Savannah had her friends spend the night last night. Her boyfriend came over today and we all watched movies together. I fell asleep in the floor, under my heating blanket, and just woke up. It's 7 pm. Talk about a wonderful nap. I slept hard.

Lazy, sleepy Saturdays.

I love them.

Laid back, nothing to do, surrounded by family and friends.

Hmmmm and now I'm hungry.

Starving in fact.

I think I need to send the kiddos out for more take out.

:)

Thank-God for Sleepy Saturdays.

Christmas 2012

We had an awesome Christmas. Wonderful family time. This year we had a new appreciation for each other. It's hard without Nannie and Papa West. It's so different. But I looked around the room and seen their legacy. Such a huge legacy. Then I looked at sweet Landri and my heart was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the Lord's healing touch. I'm so thankful for every member of our family, and every spouse, and every friend. I'm thankful for every moment, every memory. I cherish my time with them.

Yes, Christmas was awesome this year.

I've enjoyed my off time thoroughly. It took me a few days to wind down. I was so stressed coming out of last semester. I have a lot of peace going into this one. I do have a lot of studying to do which will commence on Saturday.

2012 held many events for us.

I was accepted to nursing school. Savannah Sky spent a month in Ethiopia and a month in Uganda. She also graduated. A whole year early. Who would have ever dreamed? Landri was diagnosed with a brain tumor and then healed, never having to go through radiation. Tony and I enjoyed our 19th Anniversary. Heaven turned 22, Savannah Sky turned 17, Meadow turned 11 and my sweet Treyton turned 2.

I'm really looking forward to 2013.

I have some Christmas pictures but Meadow's camera is missing in action. Hopefully it'll turn up soon.

Looking forward to the New Year!

Get Over Yourself!

Some people just lie to themselves. They never assume responsibility for their own actions or admit that they are in control of their own life. They look for trouble and when trouble comes they say, "I'm used, abused and walked on." They say they are helping others- but if they could just stop for a second-a nano second- and look into their own life without blinders- and actually see the truth -they WOULD see that they only live for themselves. They give themselves glory for trying to help others but it's the lie they feed themselves to make you feel sorry for them, to make them look good. Look around. Look at what you surround yourself with. Your life is what it is because you chose it. You did and you do, every single day- you choose. Whine and cry, whine and cry, in the name of helping or encouraging someone else. If you want a different life then by goodness get up off of your rear end and LIVE IT!

Well I call it what it is.

BULL.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

You can't change anyone but yourself.

God can't forgive us until we repent. We can't repent until we realize our own actions/wrongs. Things don't change until we choose to change them.

I'm just sick of people's excuses and their feeling OH so sorry for themselves! UGH!

Vent over.

Wise Words from Joyce Meyers:

You can make yourself accountable, or you will be made accountable by the circumstances you create.

You can be full of pity or full of power. Stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your behavior.

And my favorite

You may think that if someone else doesn't change, you can never be happy. But if you change, you can be happy no matter what.

Thanksgiving 2011

Life just rolls along. It doesn't matter if you are ready for it or not, come what may, you simply cannot slow down time. I'm rolling with it for a change, instead of laying back as it passes me by. I've set goals and I'm working hard.

Change is hard. It's not only hard on the one changing but on those who are affected by the one is who is changing.

Such is life.

I am so very thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful for His mercy and grace. My, oh my, how He blesses me each and every single day.

My papa passed away this week. It's been so hard letting go. When nannie passed, a year and a half ago, it was harder seeing papa mourn his wife of 65 years. When papa went, it helped to think of him meeting her on the other side. Yet, at the same time, there is such a thickness, this solidity in me, this deep knowing and understanding that this was the passing of a wonderful generation. How I wish that I could hear my papa tell me his stories again. If only I could have preserved their knowledge.

My girls are growing up. My Heaven was 21 this year and my grandson turned one. Sky turns 16 and Meadow turned 10. I hit 40. Such big years for all of us.

1-wow a year already?

10-double digits-the tween years begin!

16-ah sweet sixteen

21-wow I'm really an adult

and 40

40 has seemed so sad. Knowing that I'm halfway through this journey. And that is just a guesstimate.

My prayer if that I enjoy every moment, embrace every day, appreciate every tiny thing. That I open my eyes and not miss a thing. I pray for strength, for true grit, to fight for all that is right, to climb any mountain no matter how big or how tall, and to love with all my mite. Father, lead me, teach me, show me the way. Prepare me for battle.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Bachelorette Party

One of my best friends Andrea is getting married May 14th. So, my daughter Heaven and I and a few of Andrea's friends went to the Comedy Zone and to another Club afterwards. We had the best time. 

Getting back into the Swing

Wow, well I think the new blog is up and running and all of the kinks worked out. What do you think? Rebecca from Artistree has been toying with my ideas for the last couple of months and I'm very pleased with how she took my ideas and blended them with hers. It took us a few tries to get it just right and I appreciate her honesty, kind heart and patience with me.

The giveaway. I have opened up every link and found that there wasn't one person who linked back to the post they created. Waaa!!! I was looking foward to reading them but have been away so long I can't find the posts created!

Sooooo, I suppose there is nothing left for me to do except to take each person who wanted to be entered into the contest, including those who only commented and put every name in the bucket. I'll pray over these names and then have my family help me in drawing a name. I would like to thank-you each of you for taking the time to read my blog, participate here and just for being a part of my life. I'll post the winner sometime later this week.

I have so much to share about my fast. Many answered prayers and revelations. BUT I just can't burst out with it just yet. Soon and very soon!

Sunday

Since I didn't have a sitter Meadow and I went with the family to stay at the hotel but I didn't get to go to Battle Cry. I gave my ticket to one of Sky's friends and the four of them had a great time while Meadow and I lazed at the hotel. We had a good time too. It was a nice change of scenery, we don't have television here at home so Meadow watched cartoons, Hannah Montana and Suite life with Zach and Cody the whole time. I enjoyed watching the gang come in singing praise and worship and talking about what they had learned. They came back to the hotel Saturday and we had lunch together in the hotel's restaurant the called the "The Bistro". The food was delicious and I indulged in a few desserts! It was nice not having to leave the hotel for food! :) Tony reserved us seats for next year's Acquire the Fire so I'll experience it then!

I have had the worst stomach ache today and I missed church today because of it. I haven't been sick to my stomach just had a tummy ache. I'm not sure if this is the virus or not, it's so hard to tell. I wanted to let everyone know how things went so I drug myself out of bed to blog a little. I hope everything is well with all of you and I'll try to catch up tomorrow! God bless you all!

Roxy is growing so fast!

Isn't she gorgeous?!
Roxy is like a new baby in our home.

She is obeying the command, Down.

I love to see Roxy running. She just floats across the ground.

Standing still.

All in all Roxy is doing great. She likes to play and sometimes nips you and she becomes very excited when company arrives. I am taking her to training once a week and having her groomed while there. I know the more time I spend teaching her the more obedient she will be. Its funny because right now at home I can get her to do every one of her tricks but when there are distractions she completely ignores me. I'm hoping as she outgrows the puppy stage this will change.

A Clinique Day

I felt better today than I have in a very long time. I felt good! Praise the Lord I felt GOOD! I'm so glad. I can't believe how incredibly great it feels to feel good! I had to take Sky to the orthodontist today and after that visit we headed to the mall. I was needing cleanser and make-up so I went in and had a facial and purchased some goodies for me. The last time I done this was two years ago! My consultant Lois was still there and still had my file. I have to say I was impressed. I spent a bundle but hey I'm worth it! Right?! Tee hee That is was my hubby keeps telling me anyway!

Do the rest of you moms struggle as hard as I did spending money on yourselves and not the kiddos? Man I can't believe how hard that is! Sky even told me..she said, "Mom it makes us so happy to see you get something for yourself because you are always buying for us." Awww......how sweet she is.

So here is a picture of my goodies.

Last night was youth night at our church and my girls are in drama. I have some great pictures coming up with more details later this week. God Bless you all!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day at our house was super special this year. It was simple and yet so very meaningful. Meadow was so happy with her Frog Balloon. Look at her BIG smile!

And then there was Roxy. My hubby took us the Saturday before Valentine's and picked her out for us, name and all. Roxy fit her perfectly. Roxy is a Shih Tzu and she is a spoiled rotten mess!

Just look at the face? How could you NOT love her? Is that a perfect Valentine's Day present or what?!!

So needless to say I was not expecting anything on Valentine's Day. Besides Tony would be on the road on Thursday and I understood.....

Well Thursday morning came and Roxy woke me way too early. I stumbled through the house to get something to drink with all intentions of going back to bed when I seen this.....

At first I thought it was a neat card that the girls had made me until I read
YOU ARE HERE......
Huh?
Yep that arrow was pointing to my hometown and my hometown had a red heart on it.....

And then I began to read the words and as I did the tears started to flow...
I read....

They say home is where the heart is
And as you can clearly see
This map marks the spot
That is so dear to me.
The heart is an organ
That gives this body life,
And the heart that I'm so fond of
Is my heart, It is my wife.
This map if full of many roads
Which my works calls me to
BUT the road I want to travel most
Would bring me home to you.
You spend this day without me there
To hold the hand I love
The hand that was given to me
From our Father up above.
Happy Valentine's Day
I love you....

Tony always reaches so deep within to show his love for me. He never ceases to amaze me. As I stood there in the kitchen alone so early in the morning reading these words he'd carefully written and realizing how he had taken the time to plan so precisely so that I would wake up to his surprise I longed for him. I longed to have him home and to have his arms around me. It wasn't expensive or designer it was from his heart. The ache inside of me was enormous and yet at the same time I was so consumed with his love and this overwhelming joy filled me inside and out. I was not bitter that we couldn't be together....I was grateful that we had each other. While I desire to have him home with me very soon, I'm appreciative that our heavenly Father has given us the opportunity to miss one another, the opportunity to grow in new ways, the opportunity to love just a little bit deeper......

I pray that your Valentine's Day was just as special as ours!!!

Blah! Blah! Blah!

That is exactly how I feel. Tony had the flu this past weekend and couldn't leave for work on Sunday as scheduled. I did enjoy taking care of him but felt sooo bad for him. He was miserable.

I have been searching relentlessly to find My Father's World Exploration-1850 used. This is what I plan to use to school Sky and Meadow next year and I wanted to find it used so I could afford to buy some extras. Usually its not this hard. I came so close to finding one yesterday but I didn't get online until later in the afternoon and someone beat me to it. UGH! Its frustrating to say the least. Blah! Blah! Blah!

One of my best friends that took me to weight watchers, well she is actually my cousin by marriage, found out that her husband is being deployed on Saturday. Needless to say we dropped out of WW for now. I haven't been in the mood to count points anyway. Is it the winter? Blah! Blah! Blah! I love winter. Maybe its Tony not being here much and he just left I don't know but I don't want to leave the house. I like being here, its warm inside...cozy with a fire going and we are getting lots of school done.

Tony wants Meadow and I to take a road trip with him next week. Sigh...a whole week! On the Road? I plan to take Meadow's school with us and read lots of books! The other two girls are going to stay on the Mountain with their meemaw and help her get some house cleaning and chores done. It really isn't that I don't want to go with Tony, I do, it'll be great having time with him but I'm not fond of riding in one of those big ole trucks!

I need to get my camera out and take some pictures. I confess, I haven't used it since I lost all of my Christmas pics except for posting Meadow's art. I called today to see if I could return it but I only had 10 days and I thought I had 30. I suppose eventually I'll be glad I kept it. Blah! Blah! Blah!

I'm thinking about taking the girls skating tomorrow. Maybe that will help to pull me out of this ole slump. Oh and I'm looking into having my blog redesigned too, I have tried to contact Susie at Bluebirds but can't get her to reply. So I'm hunting down someone else, I have searched and found a few I really like. Is there anyone you could recommend?

Sorry for the Blahs! I hope all of you are in a better mood than I! :)

The Crud!

Yuck! I have had a horrid cough, chest cold, body achy mess since last week. I'm beginning to feel some better but still a lot of congestion in my chest. I passed it on to Tony and he's in the bed trying to rest before he has to head out on the road. I don't know how in the world he plans to drive as sick as he is. I was immobile for days.

I did manage to fix a wonderful Pot Roast today. I used Ree's recipe as my base and I added a lot of goodies and a homemade gravy sauce that turned out just scrumptious. I believe that searing those veggies before boiling makes a huge difference in the flavor. I served it in a nice lasagna dish that my dear mother in law gave me for Christmas and it looked like something served in a fancy restaurant and tasted better (honestly) than any other I've ever put in my mouth. If I can duplicate this recipe I've got a winner.

Next time I'm going to try to take pictures of each step and post them. This time I was just too tired and I didn't know if it was going to be worth showing. Now I know!

I hope you all are healthy and crud free....we appreciate your prayers!

Praising God for the Thorns

This Christmas has not been what we had anticipated. My sister is battling a mental disease. I spent days trying to help her. I was wore down physically and mentally. My children witnessed too many horrid things, we simply couldn't get them out in time. Please pray for her as her very life is at stake.

I had over 550 new pictures from our Christmases taken on my new camera. I came here to blog some of the greatest ones, like the gingerbread house daddy decorated with them, I had days and weeks worth of stories to share with pictures and I was very excited. I pulled my chip from my camera and put it in my computer and alas, all was lost. I have no idea what happened to my chip but its empty. I cried and started to explode, then I remembered that the Lord has been dealing with me on my self-control and that my girls had witnessed enough turmoil so I bit my lip and decided to take down my Christmas Tree.

As we worked on that tree and put away all of our ornaments and decorations together, cleaning and getting our home back in order I thanked God for our Christmas and every blessing I could think of. I thanked Him for the thorns too, like my sister's sickness and my lost pictures because I remembered that God uses all things for His glory. As I did my heart felt lighter and my anger dissipated and I realized that I still had every loved one here with me that was in those pictures and that I could take more. When we moved our real yet very dead tree outside I realized something else....even though this tree was full of water it was very dry and brittle. My husband had been smelling a burnt smell the past few days and it was truly the hand of God that erased my pictures in order to guide me to take down that tree. Had I left it up until after the New Year which is our usual tradition I'm sure it would have caught fire. I cannot believe the tree was not drinking any water and the branches were so brittle they snapped off with the gentlelest touch.

I also baked a cheese cake after Christmas instead of for Christmas due to the emotions flowing through the holidays and I burnt the top of it. I could have screamed, maybe I did, I know I jumped up and down and finally accepted that all I could do is cut the top off. I did and it was delicious. You never knew the top was gone after I added the white chocolate ganache and poured on the homemade raspberry sauce. Yummy. I wanted to post pics but well...you already know where they went. I will however post the recipe and say that if I have any cheese cake loving viewers that this recipe is a must.

My husband was home praise God!! I could not have made it through this tough time without him. The day after Christmas I was so spent I prayed and asked God to please give me more time with my husband and God answered. My husband is still here and is leaving in the morning! Prayerfully he will be home tomorrow night and not have to leave until next Wednesday.

I have much to be thankful for. My sister is still alive, my pictures can be replaced, my home is safe from the dried out tree, my husband was home for the holidays, my cheesecake turned out delicious, I exercised my self-control through the grace of God, God is speaking to me and using me and guiding my husband and myself. God has reminded us through all of this that we honestly do not spend enough time on our knees. God is merciful and faithful and He is a mighty deliverer, and that when I pray I pray in faith knowing He is fully capable of answering my prayers because He is the Almighty!!

I pray that all of your Christmases were wonderful and blessed. I'm looking forward to the New Year. God Bless You all!!!

Grand Finale Cheesecake With White Chocolate Ganache and Raspberry Sauce

Crust
1-1/3 cup fine vanilla wafer crumbs
1/3 cup melted butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp of cinnamin (if desired - I do not care for it)

Cheesecake
5pkgs of cream cheese softened
1-3/4 cups sugar
3Tbs Flour -plain
3/4 tsp grated lemon rind
3/4 tsp grated orange rind
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 vanilla
5 eggs at room temperature
2 eggs yolks
1/4 heavy cream

White Chocolate Ganache
8 oz white chocolate chips
3 tsp butter
1/4 cup heavy cream

Raspberry Sauce
1 bag of frozen berries
1/2 cup jelly (grape or currant)
1/2 to 1 cup of sugar (to your taste)

To prepare crust mix vanilla wafer crumbs, melted butter, sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon. Press into bottom of springform pan, 3" deep and chill.

Beat cream cheese until light and fluffy. Combine next 6 ingredients and gradually add to cheese beating contantly. Add eggs and yould one at a time beating well after each. Gently stir in cream. Pour into prepared springform pan over crust and bake extremely hot oven 500 degrees for 10 minutes. Turn oven down to 200 and bake for 1 hour and a half. DO NOT OPEN DOOR ( Cheesecake will crack)

Turn off heat after an hour and a half never opening oven door leaving until completely cool. Once completely cool move to refrigerator while you prepare the ganache.

Melt butter, cream and white chocolate chips in sauce pan stirring with wisk and pour over top of cheese cake and return to fridge over night.

Take the bag of frozen berries and thaw them, squeeze them through a seive and wisk juice, jelly and sugar to taste. This sauce is very thin. Refrigerate and serve drizzled over each individual slice. Delicious and beautiful.

Meadow~schooling reluctantly

Meadow was unhappy doing her math but even pouting still beautiful.

Just Moments later she had forgotten what she was so upset over.
Tony bought me a new camera for Christmas. I am going to have to take some time to learn how to use it so it will not be a waste to own. Right now I'm just point and shooting but hopefully soon I'll be doing a lot more. I love it!

Words Left For Me...

Tony was only home for a few hours this weekend. Stress reigned. When I woke this morning these were the words he left for me...

Climbing into a cage week in and week out,
Causes one to look at life with much doubt.
Leaving those I love so very much,
Many miles from home and away from their touch.
From the time I leave, until my return,
For their love and affection my heart it does burn.
I drive a Big Truck across many a great state,
A job some love but one that I hate.
Out on the road with nothing else to do,
I think about life and “wasted time” too,
About wants and desires and things that we need,
For more time with my family to my Lord I do plead.
I come in most weekends, providing I don’t break down,
To a house full of family but it seems LOVE is not around.
Through out the week while Daddy is not here,
Pressure and tension drowns the good cheer.
Mother doing the job that God meant for TWO,
Is taking its toll on one who is true,
True to her children and responsibilities of life,
Is what makes me proud to call her my WIFE,
She works over time, and without any pay,
I do not envy her, that I must say,
Homeschooling, cooking and cleaning all day,
No time for herself to keep the devil at bay,
So I lift her up to our Father above,
And ask that He bathe her with patience and love,
That which only God Himself can give,
The desire to love to laugh and to live.
My greatest desire is to be a family man,
And with the help of my Lord, I know that I can,
So I also pray, it be the will of my Lord,
That I soon come home, to a home of one accord.

My heart is broken today....

Its Friday and I'm back online!

I am finally back online. My computer crashed, I had to wait for the new one then dial up simply stopped working like it was and I can't explain how that happened either! My sweet hubby agreed to let me try satellite. It took seven days to get the installers out here and finally now I'm up and running. Yay! I'm ecstatic with my computer and my internet. Praise God for these sweet blessings.

Our weekend.....

Today Tony is suppose to be home early and I can't wait. I miss him so incredibly bad and often times the weeks seem to d-r-a-g out forever. I have a small honey do list for him which he will probably get to in the morning.

Tonight I think we are going to round up some teens and head over to the food bank to help pack food boxes. We done this last month and enjoyed it immensely.

Saturday, after the chores we have been invited out to dinner by two other couples and a short Bible Study after. I'm torn between my excitement of wanting to go and fellowship and wanting to have a night home alone with my husband before he leaves on Sunday again. I have a feeling we will go and cut out early if we have to, in order to gain some alone time! :)

How about you? Plans for the weekend?

Oh, and did I say its good to be back online?!?

It's been a while

These last weeks have been so incredibly busy. I am so happy to have Heaven home and I have been strictly limiting my computer time. Heaven has had a hard time adjusting to being home. The missions trip really changed her a lot. She still has some jet lag but is more herself each day.

Meadow had a birthday this week and we had a small party for her here. I will post some pics later this week, hopefully tomorrow. Then we had a youth rally at our church and it was so awesome! There were several saved and many healed. The power of God was really moving. I'm very excited about what God is doing in our church and our community. Being friends with God makes life worthwhile, doesn't it? It gives life meaning, keeps life exciting. I just love my Lord!

I know this is short I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that all is well! Many Blessings!