Working out

I try so hard to keep all of my blogs updated, especially this one but lately I've been so incredibly busy I just haven't had the time. Oddly I haven't known what to blog. Do you ever get blog block?

I started doing aerobics with my girls, their friends and my cousin. I'm so sore I can barely move. Its a good sore though. I'm enjoying the pain, well, not the pain so much as the results! I've lost 10 pounds in the last three weeks and I'm feeling so good. My goal is to be consistent and NOT quit this time. Quiting is so easy.

I've started watching The Biggest Loser. We don't have television at my house so after working out on Tuesdays I go to my friends house and watch it there. Last night was such a good episode. The teams had a major challenge and one member offered up the idea of quitting right where they were. You could tell it was tempting to everyone because they were all so tired but one member stepped up and said that he couldn't quit. He was in this for himself and he just couldn't let himself down that way. Later, it showed two other guys and one of them stated that quitting had always been his problem. He would begin a weight loss journey only to quit and fail. He couldn't quit now. Another guy said that if he had of quit then, just because the challenge was so hard that he would have quit again, every time he was tempted or the workouts were to hard. He wouldn't have continued to push himself so hard because after you quit once, its gets easier.

These things really hit my heart. I'm determined to make a permanent change. Not just to lose weight but to be healthy and to be an example to my family. I want to show them that it can be done. I want to be an inspiration to them and to encourage them and ignite a desire inside of them to want to change as badly as I do.

Good stuff.

Wordless Wednesday-Aiden

Please remember to keep Aiden, his mother (who is in jail), and my sister in law (who is caring for Aiden) in your prayers.

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

(February 14th) - This holiday, also known as Saint Valentine's Day, was named after two early Christian martyrs named Valentine and is observed by Western and Western-influenced cultures. In the United States and some other countries, cards and gifts are given to friends, sweethearts, and family members to express love.

Delicious Dessert

This is what we had for dessert tonight. Mmmmmmmmmmm

The Butterfly Award

This award was given to me by Susan from Penless Writer.


The rules are 1. Put the logo on your blog.2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.3. Nominate 10 other blogs.4. Add links to their blogs.5. Leave a message on the blogs of your nominees.6. Give a reason why you consider their blogs cool.

Susan passed this award onto me because I am a part of her Heart of One Accord Blog. A prayer warrior for this nation and for one another.

Here is what she wrote:
These 21 Prayer Warriors join me as we pray daily for The Body Of Christ - Our Local Church Assembly - Our Nation - Our Community and special prayer needs that are posted for prayer. You 21 bless me......but the important thing......I know you bless the heart of our Father God: "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" Hebrews 4:16

So now I must pass this award along to 10 other blogs. My choices are:
1. Tiffany @ Tea with Tiffany. Tiffany you inspire me. I love that you share your struggles, you hide nothing, and you share your growth. You've helped me more than you could know.

2. Jessica @ Walkin By Faith. Jessica your strength I admire. You are a strong mother in the Lord and a wonderful friend. I'm so glad the Lord has seen fit to cross our paths.

3. Sheri @ Purely His. Sheri I love sharing your journey. It has been an honor to watch your family grow and to see how you handle having your husband serve in the military. Your books have been a wealth of wisdom for Sky and I. Thank-you.

4. Rebecca @ China Baby. Your passion for children excites me. Being able to see the adoption of Owen unfold has been a blessing upspeakable for me. My girls and I have watched your blog and relished in the uniting of you with your son Owen. The pictures of China have really added to our homeschooling. You my friend are awesome!

5. Rebecca @ Oceans From the Rain. I can't remember how I came across your blog but I remember the battle you were having with your two little girls and mersa. I remember praying for your family and how you came here with your heart (and to my private blog dealing with infertility), truly reading, truly caring and praying for me. I love your love for Christ. You are a great encouragement to me.

6. Jen @ One Mom's World. You have been like a best friend ever since we first met. I feel like I've known you forever and could talk with you about anything! We have a lot of the same struggles and a lot of the same joys. I look forward to the years ahead!

7. Susan @ Forever His. At your place I know I can always find His word and great devotions. Thank-you for being a beacon of light in this blogosphere.

8. Kristen @ We Are That Family. Your blog is a place that I can visit and see life as it is. You make me laugh, hysterically. I love that you contain this humor all while loving the Lord Jesus Christ. I have to admit that as of late my favorite readings are The Persecuted Church. These posts have added to our missionary study and given us faces with names to pray for each day. I thank-you for all that you allow the Lord to use you to do! I thank-you for allowing us to be a part of this mission!

9. Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace. You are a new blog that I've just recently come across. Your blog is beautiful and your story touched my heart. I look forward to getting to know you better.

And last but certainly not least...

10. Tammy @ Living with Neuropathy. Tammy you are not just a blog friend but a best friend in real life. I love that you are sharing your story with others not only to find comfort but to offer comfort to others through what the Lord has done for you. I look forward to seeing your blog flourish. I love you.

So that's it! Thank-you Susan for this award. It is an honor to be a part of Hearts of One Accord and to know you at Penless Writer. Much love my friend and my apologies for taking so long to receive and pass this along.

What a Wonderful Sunday!

I love Sundays like today. Filled with the presence of God, such deep praise and worship, being fed GREAT word, and being filled to the brim by the Holy Spirit. Joy. A joy filled day.

I'm going to share the song that spoke to me today, the song that moved me, the song that spoke exactly what I was feeling and brought me into the presence of the Lord. The song is called, "Love Is Here" and it's by a band called Tenth Avenue North. It was mentioned that this may be the band that will be performing at our Xperience Youth Rally this fall. I'm praying so!
(Be sure to mute the music player at the bottom of my page.)

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more.
Come to the Father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed:

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here.

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed,

Yeah:

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.

Yeah

And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives, bound, and broken hearted.

He is the lord
He is the lord,
Yeah

By his stripes he's paid our ransom
From his wounds we drink salvation

He is the lord
He is the lord

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near,
It satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here
Love is here.

Today's message was titled, "Choices." One of our scriptures was Deuteronomy 31:19 "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:"

God gave us all free will and the freedom to choose for ourselves. Every decision that make reflects what we believe and how strongly we believe it. We have the choice to choose God or not to. Sometimes we make decisions without clearly thinking them through. Wrong decisions always have consequences that make us regret our decision and wish we could back and undo it. How many times have you made a decision only to say, "How I wish I hadn't done that!" Before we make decisions there is a thought process that takes place. If we don't train ourselves to recognize where our thoughts come from then we will make more wrong decisions. When we seek God and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal if our thoughts line up with God's word or not then we will know where our thoughts come from.

Sometimes you just know, sometimes you really have to seek God. Satan hates us because we were created in the image of God. He hates God he wants nothing more than for us to fall. He attacks us in our thoughts. Thoughts lead to desires. He attacked Eve's thoughts. He enticed her, he lied to her and she believed. It brought death. Many times our thoughts are not lined up with God's word. Many times we think our thoughts are but we can become strayed and fall very far away without realizing until its too late. Sometimes we know but we still choose wrong.

Wrong lines of thinking come from many different things. Pride and rebellion are huge in causing us wrong thinking. Satan was so prideful he thought he was better than God and he rebelled. Pride and rebellion are two of this favorite things to use to cause error in our thinking. Sometimes God is calling us to do a particular thing but it isn't what we wanted Him to call us to. We may want to be in another facet of ministry so our thoughts become erred and we begin to believe that because what we want to do it FOR GOD that its right, even when it isn't what God wanted us to do. We may not want to come out of our comfort zone so we allow fear to keep us seated. God may want us to sit down for a while and feed but our pride gets in the way and we refuse to sit continuing in a ministry where we actually hurt others instead of help them. Satan has victory in these instance, when he thwarts God's plan for us.

We may want to serve in another church and our thinking process has a wrong idea of what a church should be that keeps us away. Sometimes people run from the truth because it wasn't their idea and because satan is fighting tooth and nail to keep us from receiving the truth. Wrong thought processes come when you are seeking to please your flesh and your *ideals*. As in deciding on a church rather than looking for a church that operates in order and speaks the truth. Your thoughts follow the pattern of "it should be friendlier, it should be smaller, it should be larger, it should be this or it should be that." These thoughts can actually prevent us from hearing what the Lord is telling us, and hinder us in being where God really wants us or from doing what God really wants us to do because instead of allowing God to speak we want to listen to ourselves. I use this example because I can look back in our move and these were thoughts I had about our church and tonight I was able to look around and see how wrong my thoughts were about the people that are now my church family. Satan tried every trick in the book to cause us not to plant ourselves at HWC and today I was able to see how far we would have gone had we not made the right decision.

When we align our thoughts up with God's word, when we listen and obey God our thoughts turn and we can see the error of our thinking process and we can look back and thank God that we heard and that we listened.

The devil's hold is your desires.

That is where he gets us. Think about that for a moment. Your desires. Whether you are talking about churches, ministries, family, life, jobs, kids, books, T.V., music, friends...whatever the situation, satan's is your desire. He can't make you choose. You always, always, always have a choice to make.

I started thinking about some things in my life that I'd been wrestling with. Things I've been seeking God for direction in. As I looked at each situation I looked at my desire over each particular instance. I weighed my desire. I asked myself if my desire was to please myself or to please the Lord and immediately the Holy Spirit began to correct the error in my thinking and I was able to make the right choices. I was actually amazed that I had been so confused over a few things because deep down I knew right from wrong but my thoughts had become so negative that wrong things seemed right to me. I suppose I was justifying the wrong, but the big thing here is that I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT. Once I seen in the spirit the error of my wrong thinking the Lord immediately gave me the correct thoughts and I was able to see clearly without a doubt and then came the revelation that I had known it all the time but the enemy had masked it.

Then the realization that your decisions never just effect you. Your decisions always, always, always effect others. Your spouse, your children, friends, family, the lost, the way the lost perceive Christians, the way Christians' perceive other Christians. We can become stumbling blocks for others. We can actually lower the standard from God's word by living in wrong thinking. Realizing that I alone as the Godly woman, wife, mother could be responsible for my family going the wrong way. That my choices, my sin could effect them for a lifetime and eternity, startled me.

I'm not talking about BIG things like adultery or drugs. To me those are obvious, I would KNOW they would effect my family and others. I'm talking about where I am with God. If I had hindered my family in attending the church that the Lord led us too it could have been the only foothold that satan needed to attack them and get his hands on them (and me). If my attitude doesn't reflect Christ and my children don't see me growing, how are they going to know how to grow? How will they not be filled with doubt in God if they don't see their mother leaning on Him and trusting Him. How can they know His peace if they've never experienced it? (I'm not saying that parents have to be saved and living right for children to I'm just saying that MY actions have consequences not just for me for all around me.) Hear me.

If I'm not being the wife I should be, allowing my husband to be the head of our house, trusting his decisions, if I'm unsupportive of him then he may never become the man that God intended him to become. Maybe my unhappiness and attitude leaves him feeling like less of man because it's his desires to please me. Maybe he doesn't trust his decisions because I don't trust him. Maybe I insist on making the decisions and having all the control. Imagine where that could lead your family. We can hinder our families in the smallest ways. The smallest things can sometimes cause the largest ripples. The longest lasting effects.

I don't know about you but I want to be a building block, a strong link, for my family. I want to help strengthen them and further them in their walks with Christ. I want to allow the Lord to use me and teach me how to be the best Christian woman, wife, mother, daughter, friend that I can be with Christ. I don't want to stand before the Father one day and know that I hindered my family or that I was the reason someone turned away from Him.

If you love Jesus, you will make the right choices. You will set aside your own desires and listen to the Father. You will obey. Choose life and not death. Choose blessings and not cursings, for both you and your seed........

Sky

Sky had oral surgery on Tuesday to have a baby tooth that was ankelosed to the bone in her face removed. Surgery went well but her recovery is slow. Her face is very very swollen and she is in a lot of pain. Please keep her in prayer.

Also, if you would, join in prayer for our finances. The enemy is trying to knock us down but we are standing on Jesus and calling forth His blessings for us.

Thanks friends!

Trusting God

I love our church. I know I've said that before and I just have to say it again. It is so wonderful to have Pastors who truly seek the Lord and put Him first, who truly spend time in prayer for you and your family, who take the time to get to know you and your needs. It's wonderful to be in a church that operates in God's perfect order. For a long time I didn't understand what that perfect order for a church was. I had been misled and taught wrong.

February will mark our 2 year anniversary. I look back and remember how hard it was to leave our last church. I remember how the Lord led us out by force and how we felt so hurt and betrayed. We questioned the Lord not understanding what was going on and He continued to lead us, in His perfect time, the exact place that He wanted us to be to serve and be fed. If I'm completely honest with myself I'll admit that I didn't want to go the church the Lord led us to. I was so resistant. I kept feeling the Lord leading us there but I fought it. In my mind it was just too simple of a solution and I wanted a more difficult solution to our problem. How could the answer be right here under my nose?

I'm ever so grateful for the Lord's patience with me and His persistence. I pray that often, "Lord pursue me, never stop knocking." I can be so hard headed and He knows this. I love His care to detail and I'm reminded of how He has my best interest at heart and that He had something better in store for me than I would have had for myself. He knows, when we don't. If we can put away our stubborn pride and get our own minds out of the way. If we will be willing to relinquish that control and let Him lead, trusting Him even when we don't understand, instead of trying to figure things out on our own, making them more difficult then they really are....then we can truly see Him work. It's then that you know that you had nothing to do with it, it was all God.

Learning to trust God. In all things. Learning to be about His business instead of our own.

I spoke a couple of posts back about a word that was spoken over me last week. Millie, a sweet sweet, bold warrior for Jesus Christ taped the word, typed it out and brought it to me. I'm ever so thankful for that. It is so hard to remember all of the word and I love having the word to ponder. I'm going to share the word in its entirety.

"I HEARD THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD SAY, 'TAKE HEART, MY DAUGHTER' HE SAYS, 'YOU HAVE A LARGE HEART AND YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOVE INSIDE OF YOU,' AND GOD SAYS,'THERE ARE MANY, MANY, CHILDREN THAT I WANT YOUR HANDS TO TOUCH, AND I WANT YOU TO MINISTER TO,' SAYS THE SPIRIT OF GOD. HE SAYS,'SOME BLACK HEADED ONES, SOME BROWN HEADED ONES, SOME BLONDE ONES, SOME THAT ARE SMALL, AND SOME THAT ARE BIG.' GOD SAYS THAT YOU HAVE A DESIRE TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM, AND GOD IS ABOUT TO OPEN UP SOME THINGS WHERE THIS IS CONCERNED, BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SEE THAT, BECAUSE THE DEVIL KNOWS IT. GOD SAYS,'YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO BRING KIDS, SOME CHILDREN, SOME LITTLE ONES LIKE STAIR STEPS, YOU'RE GOING TO BEGIN, YOU'RE GOING TO BRING THEM OUT OF BONDAGE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE A NURSING MOTHER TO THEM' SAYS THE SPIRIT OF GOD' AND YOU'RE GOING TO FEED THEM WITH THE MILK OF THE LIVING WORD, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MIGHTY WOMAN OF VALOR, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MIGHTY DELIVERER TO THEM IN THE NAME OF JESUS.' AND THE LORD SAYS,'SATAN IS ANGERED AT THAT, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SPOKEN IN THE SPIRIT; AND SATAN KNOWS THE ANOINTING THAT'S THERE UPON YOU.' GOD SAYS,'GET READY', BECAUSE HE IS BEGINNING TO BREATHE UPON YOU, BEGINNING TO MOVE ON YOU; AND I SEE CLOUDS BREAKING UP AND THE SUN BREAKING THROUGH, AND I SEE THE MIGHTY HAND OF GOD BEING RELEASED. I SEE A GOLDEN VESSEL, AND IT'S POURING OUT GOLDEN OIL UPON YOUR HEAD TONIGHT...AND THE LORD SAYS, 'BE FREE IN THE NAME OF JESUS RIGHT NOW."

This just shows more about God's plans and purpose for our lives. It shows how easy it is for us to think we have it all figured out. If we let ourselves get caught up in our wants, we become miserable because we aren't getting them, and we miss what the Lord has in store for us. It's time to wake up.

I wanted more children, I have prayed, petitioned and sought God and cried out like Hannah for a son like Samuel for years and years now. I've questioned God, I've stomped my feet, I've cried and thrown temper tantrums, I've felt worthless and less than other women, I've thought it was my sin, something I hadn't repented for that was closing my womb. All the time it was the Lord planting that desire in my heart but I was so blinded by how I wanted it to come to pass that I was missing the purpose that the Lord had for me.

The Lord has begun over the last few months to reveal things to me about His plan and not my own and then hearing this word is more confirmation. My thinking has gone from *my* to God's.

Right now I have baby Aiden here in my home. I look at him and my thoughts begin with, "Oh how I wish you were mine little one." But then I am reminded by my Father, "My daughter, this child is Mine and I need you to care for him and love him as if he came from your womb." I know that Aiden may not be permanent and I'm fine with that. I know that God has His hands on Aiden and I want to do what my Father wants me to do for Aiden. I also know that more are coming. I don't know from where, and I don't know how I just know they are coming.

I pray the Lord prepare me, that He keep my heart and that He reminds me of my purpose for Him. It's not about me, it's all about Him.

Thank-you Father for choosing me, I knew this desire in my heart was so strong and it wasn't going anywhere, it feels good to know why. Forgive my lack of trust and my impatience. I pray that I can remember to trust You in all things, to follow Your lead, to not take a step forward, backwards or to the sides without Your direction. Keep Your hand upon my mouth, let me not speak a word too few or a word too many. Keep me close to You. I bind my selfishness and I ask You to give me spiritual eyes to see and spiritual ears to hear. I want to be in Your perfect will. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Pray For Life

I came across this post on a dear sweet missionaries page today and I was reminded to pray for life. Take a moment and read it here at Mission Minded Life by Ann Dunagan. And here is another wonderful post and video here at Forever His. And remember, pray for life!

Revealing My Heart

The other night everyone in my house was asleep but me. I couldn't resist the urge to run around and take pictures of the girls.

Meadow, my baby girl. She is growing up so fast. Sometimes I think just knowing how fast she really is growing leaves me desperate for another child. I'm trying so hard to face reality. There is just no way to know. Either way I'm ever so grateful for them.



Look at Sky. I can't believe how she is sleeping. She looks like I posed her! We both laughed at this later. She said, "Momma, I never sleep like that!" I said, "Well you did that night!" She looks so peaceful. I pray she has peace all of her life.



Heaven. Oh my. I can't believe she is getting married in May. Life is changing ever so fast for me....and Heaven for that matter. All her life I've prayed for time to slow down, and here it is. She has grown up, but looking at her in this picture, she doesn't look it. She looks just like my little girl.



I had word spoken over me at church last night. It was a wonderful confirmation of what the Lord had shown me at Christmas. Below is a post I hadn't published here.

Saturday I sewed costumes for 3 and 1/2 hours. I was amazed as I am not a very talented seamstress. As I worked it became obvious to me that it was not *I* who was working but the Holy Spirit working through me. I was doing some amazing things that I knew I didn't know how to do. As this revelation hit me I began to pray in the spirit as I sewed. As I prayed the Lord spoke to me, ever so softly, ever so gently, about my womb and my desire for children. As He spoke the tears streamed down my face.

What a glorious feeling, what a wonderful, unexplainable experience.

The Lord told me that He had plans for me. Plans that He couldn't totally reveal just yet but that I was on the right track. He is going to give me children. He is actually in the process, as I sewed and worked with these youth, of doing just that. He showed me faces of those that I would help and minister to and He told me it was much much larger than what I was seeing. He allowed me to see myself, the kind of wife and mother I am, and a picture of my life from the outside looking in.

It was at this moment that I realized if my womb were opened my work at church would be done for another season. With a babe in my womb my ministry would change as I would have to revert back to my home in the way I knew the Lord would want me to. There is no way that I could be in the ministry with these youth AND be the kind of mother I need to be to a baby. I pour my all into my family, as I should. It's biblical to put the Lord first, your family second and then the ministry.

Instead of blessing me with one child to raise He is going to give me many children to share the love of Christ with now.

Today at the Christmas Play some of what the Lord had spoken to me began to unfold. At the beginning of the play as the children walked into the sanctuary there was a little girl in tears, too afraid to walk alone, who needed me to carry her. With her on my hip I seen a little boy fighting with two other boys and they were holding up the line. I had that little boy come and hold my other hand. As I marched onto that stage, I was not alone, but in fact *with* two children. I cannot explain the peace that I felt.

Towards the end of the play there was a different little girl who began to cry, I squatted down to see what was wrong. She needed to be held. I sat down on the stage as I cradled this precious little girl and then here came another. I held one and wrapped my left arm around the other little girl and then here came the little boy who was fighting earlier. We bowed our heads and prayed. My quiver was full. These children were bonding with me in a way that I had not seen or realized before. They call me by name. They feel safe in my arms.

Some of the children in our church are bused in. Their parents aren't serving the Lord, some are very poor, some are on drugs and there are some who are abusing their children. There are several sets of parents in our church who have adopted some of these children. They haven't had to go through typical adoption agencies because some of these children's parents have just chosen to give them up. I praise God that they've been adopted to a safe Christian home and that they are members at our church. The Lord has called me to intercess and stand in the gap for them because He has a call on their lives.

I'm not saying that I believe I'll never have another child naturally. I'm saying that I have peace with whatever the Lord has planned for my womb because I know I am doing what He has called me to do. I know that no matter what happens the Lord fully intends to surround me with children who need Him. I truly want His will to be done. His dreams for me are bigger than any dream I've ever had for myself. It's not about ME, it's all about HIM. And I can't wait to experience all that He has in store for me! end

Last night my pastor spoke so much of this same thing over me. He said "The Lord sees your heart, your heart is so tender and so big. I see children all around you, children with brown hair, blonde hair, little children, older children, like stair steps all around you. The Lord says, He is going to use you to minister to them and pull them up and out of the mess."

There was so much more but I can't recall every word. I just know I heard it from the Lord and had visions from Him in December and this confirmation, this reminder, was so needed!

I just want to give thanks to Him for showing me once again that the purpose that He has for me is so much more important than the one I had for myself. My vision is changing. My direction, my desire, my wants are changing direction. The same but different. I want to help these children, I want to shine Jesus for them. I want to be ready. I don't want one to suffer because I didn't take heed or prepare. I don't want to waste my life wanting something that isn't God's will.

Lord thank-You. Please Father, keep Your hand upon me and help to keep me focused. I love and praise You. You have blessed me with so much. I never ever want to seem ungrateful or unsatisfied. Amen!

Another Blog Giveaway!

I just love these contests. The fun comes because there are times I actually win! Not always but sometimes and sometimes is good enough for me. This giveaway is for a blog design by Judi at Doodlebug Designs. You can click the button below to read about it!





As you probably already know Judi designed my blog at Kingdom Academy. And I LOVE it! It's my favorite one by far! :)




So come on and join the fun!

If I go missing

for a bit, you can find me here




I'll be between both of course but I didn't want you to think I'd disappeared!

I'm pooped

I woke up this morning to Meadow and Sky arguing. Ugh! Sky left quickly with Heaven to go to their dress fitting. I knew Meadow and I would have a free day today to catch up on a few school things and I wanted to do the birds nest project we had kept putting off. I decided first that we would go out together and get a bite to eat.

I had this wonderfully bliss picture in my mind of the two of us bonding.

Hilarious!

I'm sure that we bonded in some strange way just not in the way I had imagined.

Meadow insisted on eating at the Mexican Restaurant, I really wanted breakfast at Tex but I give and we went Mexican. Meadow loves their cheese dip, she ordered a lunch special and a cheese dip. The waiter never brought the cheese dip. The food was ready really fast, no wait at all, and her plate was covered in cheese. I decided that I wouldn't tell him and I'd save the $3. Meadow had a fit. She ate all of her cheese and most of her plate. I knew from experience that she usually eats one or the other but never both. She kept nagging me to ask the waiter for her dip. I told her no. She refused to eat another bite. We got a to go box and left. (On the way out I bought her a sucker.)

I mentioned stopping to get some ice cream on the way home but she was angry and said no way. We had gotten about half way home and she decided she wanted the ice cream. Since I was coming up on the stop light at Wendy's I pulled in. I had coupons to get free frosties. In the drive through after I had placed the order Meadow says, "What? Frosties?!!! You SAID ice cream! Frosties isn't Ice Cream! I want ICE CREAM!........and you KNOW that a frosty isn't ICE CREAM"

Sheesh.

I haven't a clue what world I was in today but I should have kept her frosty and went home and given her a time out or grounded her or something. I told her she was ungrateful and that it would have been nice to have had a thank-you instead of me having to hear her fuss all day long.

She said this, "Well, if you'll tell me you are sorry you didn't ask him for MY cheese dip, I'll tell you I'm sorry."

You know what I did?

Yep, I told her I was sorry that the waiter didn't bring her the cheese dip but that I was trying to save money.

Tony asked me if I'd lost my mind.

I don't know what got into me today but I do know one thing. I've raised a very spoiled child.

I watched her walking through my front door with her pretty rain coat on, frosty in her hand and sucker stuck down in her frosty. It would have been a very pretty picture if there would have been a smile on her face instead of that smirk that stated loudly, "My mom hasn't a clue what she is doing and I Meadow, am grown at the age of 7 and way more intelligent than my mommy."

Later she did, on her own, come and apologize to me. I can't tell you how thankful I was, because whatever it was that went with me today, it wasn't my little girl. It was an imposter I tell you! An imposter. I think its name is "CONTROL FREAK."

Lord I pray, you show me the way......

Digging Deeper

The mail ran today. It was full of magazines and I just love magazines. One was for Heaven, it was her new Beauty Control magazine, new products and deals. The next one was a spring catalog full of seeds and lots of goodies for planting gardens and such for the upcoming season. It always makes me want to have a big garden but I'm rarely able to care for it. Well, I should say, I rarely take care of it the way I should. This year I'm hoping to do some garden boxes. Tony says he'll help build them and I'm going to do my best to make them a priority. I love fresh veggies. A garden provides such a great reward for the hard work you put into it. Last year my mother in law had a very large garden and we spent enormous amounts of time canning. I've been very grateful for the food its provided my family through the winter.

The other magazine that came was Today's Christian Woman. I found this great article that really touched and moved me. Over the stress of my extended family, the holidays and such I've allowed myself to be a little worn down. I've been less tolerant and not as sweet spirited as usual. I haven't had the patience that I should have with the children and I guess I've allowed some negativity to seep in through the cracks. I was just thinking about my attitude the other day and how busy I seem to be with everything. I had the thought that maybe it was winter, maybe it was the cold. I do tend to lean a little towards the depressional side of things in the winter even though I absolutely love this time of year. (I do wish it would snow!)

I've been hardest I believe on my husband. Nothing major but in the little things you know? Nagging, making comments, thinking of the things that he does that gets on my nerves so bad. Things like not putting his dirty clothes downstairs, or cleaning up after himself in the kitchen, leaving his shoes out in the floor for me to trip on, not hanging up his jackets. I've been focusing on the things *I* want him to do and on the things he isn't doing. Then justifying my attitude, my thoughts and my comments because, after all, they are true. I have taken my eyes off of Christ and and my sins and focused them on my husband.

I'm not even going to share some of the thoughts that have begun to enter my thoughts about my husband and our relationship lately. I believe they come from the allowing of the flesh to rule and not feasting upon God's word. I became full of pride and even some vanity in thinking of myself as so much better because I do the things I should. What deceit.

The Lord used the magazine article that I read to open my eyes to this deceit. While the article is an extreme example, it hit home none the less. It was about a woman who had decided to divorce her husband. She packed her things and went to her mother's house and poured her heart out to her mother. Her mother advised her to do one thing first. She took a sheet of paper and drew a line straight down the center. She asked her daughter to write down everything her husband had done to upset her. It was so easy for her to do. As I was reading the story I too began to mentally make my list of all the things my husband has done lately to irritate me, the things that really got on my nerves. Her list became very long, as was mine.

Well of course the lady thought her mom was going to ask her to write down the good things about her husband in the other column, I did too. I thought I had this one figured out. Instead, her mother asked her to write down how she responded in word and action to each thing that she had listed about her husband. As she began to fill out the page, shame, humiliation and guilt began to overcome her. She continued anyway, just I did in my mind. Then her mother took the list and cut the line drawn down the center. She handed her daughter the side that listed her behaviors and told her to go home and pray about them. If after she had done that, she still wanted the divorce, she could return and her mother and father would support her in the divorce.

It was at this point I was brought to my knees. I repented long and hard for the disrespect and dishonor that I had shown my husband. I repented for thinking I was better, and for thinking that he was the one who was blessed to have me. I repented for being ungrateful for the man that my Father had chosen for me to spend the rest of my life with. I remembered our vows, our vow to one another, to remain together forever, come what may, for better or for worse. I remembered that I use to pray for Tony and ask the Lord to speak to him about things that he did that bothered me. I remembered that many times Tony had truly done nothing at all, it was just my attitude or my mood for the day that caused me to be irritated. I was reminded to look deeper than what appeared on the surface.

I laid my head on my husband's back while we were watching a movie together and I thanked God for him. I praised God for him. And I asked my husband to forgive me. He had no clue why. I told him I was sorry for my attitude, my disrespect and dishonor to him lately and he just thought as usual, I was being over emotional. I had to laugh.

So thank-You Lord for speaking to me today. Thank-You for redirecting me and getting me back on track. I'm grateful that I was fallen only for a few months. Years of this would indefinitely lead to not only mental abuse affecting everyone in our household but also to divorce. Father God I praise You that You spare me, that Your forgiveness is unending and that Your love is unconditional. Father please continue to teach me how to love the way you love. We both know that without You, I'm not capable. Thank-You for another year with the man that I love. In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen.

Happy New Year everyone!

Our New Homeschool Blog

Kingdom Academy is up and running. Check out my new design by clicking the button below. It was created by Judi at Doodlebug Designs. There are still a few typos on a few of my entries but the last week has been so hectic I haven't had the time to fix them.



Thank-you all for the prayers for my brother. He is doing better physically but mentally and spiritually please continue praying for him. I want to see him FREE and serving the Lord with all his heart soul and mind!

Happy Birthday Sky

I'm thankful that we celebrated her birthday last night in between runs to the hospital. Today there would not have been time. God knew. He was prepared. He took perfect care of things.

I just wanted to say, Happy 13th baby girl!!!

Prayers needed

My brother was driving one car and a 17 yo girl the other. There is a place down the road from me where there is a weird hill. Coming from one direction you sort of pop up over the hill and there is no way to see if someone is turning right past the hill. Coming the opposite direction all you can see is the hill, you can't even see head lights at night. My brother was turning the girl was coming over the hill and they hit head on.

They had to cut my brother out with the jaws of life. They air lifted both of them to an equipped hospital. The accident happened around 9:30 Sunday night. The airlift location here just happens to be in my back yard *literally*. I did get to be with him before they got him on the helicopter.

My brother's most severe injury thus far is facial lacerations. He had to have around 7 hours of surgery with a plastic surgeon. He is awaiting an examination from the ENT to look at his nose. The great news is that there is no brain contusions, bumps, swelling or bruising and his neck, spinal cord, back, lungs and stomach are fine.

I spent time with him before he went into surgery. Let's just say the whole ordeal was shocking and draining.

God's hand has already been seen in this many times. The fact that she came out with minor bruises and abrasions is a miracle! My brother too is a living miracle. There have been many accidents and deaths at this location and we are praying that the county will step in and DO something to make this area safe.

Pray that my brother's face and body continue to heal and pray the same for the other victim. Pray that the Lord keep His hand upon my brother leading him closer to Jesus.

Catching Up

Our thanksgiving was a wonderful but oh soooooo busy. We left on Tuesday and went to my mother in law's. Thursday we went to my mom and dad's. We had a wonderful time, then we left and headed once again back to my mother in law's. My father and mother in law just aren't able to do what they once could, so the girls, dh and I stepped in and done chores, cleaning and the cooking. We celebrated thanksgiving on Saturday and didn't return home until late Sunday.

I was so wore out. It was exhausting hours and work but we had such a wonderful time. We managed to get our school done this week, you can view details here at Kingdom Academy, we cleaned our home and put up our Christmas tree. Oddly enough, we needed a tree this year but funds just aren't there. I had purchased Meadow a little pink tree for her room a month or so ago and we all decided to put it out and prayerfully catch a nice tree after Christmas on clearance! So we have a pink Christmas tree!!!

Are you ready for Christmas? I can't believe there only 18 more days! I'm no where near ready. I have barely anything done but this year will be smaller than most. That isn't neccessarily a bad thing. We have so much to be thankful for. The girls haven't really asked for much. That makes it hard. It's funny because in years past I've always felt overwhelmed with their lists, knowing I'd never be able to fill them all, but this year, with them asking for nothing it makes it hard on a mom to know what to get!

I'm trying to slow down. The one thing I do not like about this time of the year is the busy-ness of it. I want to embrace every moment with my family. I want to have nights that we can actually spend together. I do not like it when we over commit ourselves and HAVE to be somewhere every night of the week. To me Christmas is a time for family to be together, especially your own. Mom and dad and their children. Family is important. Don't you agree?

I haven't had a lot of energy, I'm a little worn out so this weekend I stayed in. It's been nice to have the time to sit, to think, to read and do the little things that needed to be done. I also got a lot of much needed rest.

Friday night, Heaven, Sky, Jessica (Sky's friend) and I all piled up in my bed and watched a movie called The Family Stone. We ate popcorn, Hershey's, Kit Kats, Twix bars, Milky Ways, Gobstoppers and Twizzlers. (Just for the record, I don't like Twizzlers) There is some language and issues in the movie and I'm not implying in any way its Christian but it was very good. We all laughed so hard, only to be left in tears at the end. This is one of my favorite movies. It was the most fun I've had since I can remember! I love girls night!

Meadow and her friend Christopher watched the new American Girl Movie called Kit Kitteredge, while enjoying the same treats we had. I watched it with her again later and I can say this is a movie to recommend. It really touched Meadow. It was about the depression and how people lost their homes and such. It opened her eyes to the economy, how we have bills, and I believe it helped her to have a better understanding of material things. She asked me if I would *let* her have a typewriter and I said, "Well, would you want one?" And she said, "Not if we don't have the money." I thought those were precious words. It was impacting. If you haven't seen the movie, do!

Give Away at Sheltered Not Shattered

This give away is also for a pair of Polliwalks hosted by Margot at
Sheltered Shop. Go on over and join the fun! You'll find lots of goodies at her place. :)

(Did I say Meadow really wants these shoes?!?)

More giveaways

Gina at:





is doing another fabulous giveway! I have already won a creative artsy clip board set from Margot at the Sheltered Shop. Thanks Gina!

Among other great giveaways, Gina is giving away a pair of Polliwalks. I had never heard if them before but Meadow seen them and it was love at first site! Now she is insisting on a pair! Check out Gina's place for great things!

Another Give Away at Clan McLeod

Gina at:





is doing another fabulous giveway! I have already won a creative artsy clip board set from Margot at the Sheltered Shop. Thanks Gina!

But this next give away takes the cake for me. It's a new blog design by Judi at:





WoW, How generous of these ladies. If I happen to win this one, I'll be using it for a new make over at our ministry blog:






Judi is currently working on a design for my new homeschool blog that I haven't exactly announced yet called Kingdom Academy. You are welcome to pop on over and see what we are all about and I'll be sure to let everyone know when the new design is complete. I'm so excited! If you are in the need of new makeover yourself, be sure to visit Gina for an opportunity to win a new blog design from Judi at Doodlebug Designs!