The Crud

It's spring fever.  That is what the name of it is.  And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!  ~Mark Twain

Ugh. I have caught the crud. Terrible cold in my head, sinuses and chest. I feel so weak you'd think I also had the flu. It's been through the whole house. Tony, V, Meadow and me. It seems like this stuff just lasts forever. I've done nothing all week but wallow around the house, sleep, laze, watch T.V., cough, manage a shower here and there and make it back into my pjs. I will be so glad when this mess passes.

It's been so cold. That old groundhog was full of hogwash. lol Not that I put any stock into that stuff anyway. But just the same old man winter has chosen to hang around as absolutely long as he can. I've never been one to complain about the winter. I love the cold and the snow. Or maybe I use to and I've just changed. It does seem as time has gone by I much prefer the warmer environments as opposed to the bitter cold of winter. My body seems to ache, my fingers and toes go numb, and I can't get warm.

I long for the spring air, the beautiful chirping birds, the buzzing bees, the gorgeous flowers, and the glorious sunshine. I long to close my eyes and bask in the warm heat. Maybe take a long walk.

Soon.

Spring is coming soon.

My Easter Boy

Isn't he the most handsome little man you've ever seen? His outfit rocks. He reminds me of the way men use to dress back in the 50's and 60's. He turned every single head of every person that saw him that day.

Funny though, that we were going to have his Easter pictures made with the sweetest duckies, bunnies, and a beautiful lamb. Once we got there Treyton would have nothing to do with the animals so we opted for the colorful jellybean scene! It turned out perfect just the same.

I hope to have pictures to post of the Easter Egg Party that his mom is throwing him this year.

Happy Easter! 2013

I Get Up Again

"I get knocked down but I get up again".....I can hear that song playing in my mind.

Yes, I failed out of RN school. But praise God I was accepted to another! Sometimes the smallest steps are the hardest ones to take. I've simply had a transfer.

It hasn't been an easy transition and I haven't handled things as well as I should, or could have but I made it. The Lord knows my future even when I don't. I'm so thankful for His mercy and grace on me.

"You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are." –Max Lucado

I praise Him that it is not of anything I could or should do, but simply because I am. I am feeling as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Snuggled up resting in His arms.

Thank-you every one for your prayers.

Falling In and Climbing Out

Yesterday was one of those days that I felt so down. I wanted to drink. I wanted to really drink. I felt as though I needed a release. I needed to get away. I needed to escape. It's strange how strong that feeling can be sometimes. I haven't shared a lot about it because honestly, most of the time, I try to deny it. To pretend it isn't there, that it never existed.

THANKFULLY.......

Instead, I found my release in One Tree Hill. Goodness I LOVE that show. A show built around some serious friendships and lots of love.

This morning I was so glad that I made that choice. I chose to live vicariously through fictional characters instead of getting drunk and dreaming that I was in another world.

I had an interview today at a different college. Things look good. No, actually they are looking great. This program is so tailored for me. I know I'm on a path that I can survive.

Sometimes life happens suddenly.

Suddenly.

Never underestimate life. You can't figure it out. You can't plan for it. You can't let it take you down. All you can do is LIVE it. And do your best to handle everything it throws at you with grace. As much grace as you can muster at the moment.

Failing out of RN school was humbling and humiliating, but I made a decision when I began this journey. I promised myself that I would NOT quit and I won't. I will not give up until I am a registered nurse.

Thomas Edison once said, "I failed my way to success." Those are words that I intend to live by.

I want to share with you one of my favorite poems. It is deep. I read it several times over to allow it to seep into me. For it's reality to hit. It strengthens me. It gives me hope. It feeds me with determination. Maybe it will you too.

Invictus – the poem

by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus is Latin for undefeated. Life can throw many things at you but in the end it is ultimately your decision on how you handle life. You can allow your circumstances to control you or you can fight back and take what you were meant to have. It just depends on how badly you want it. 

Time Away

“Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone.”

--Anonymous

Much needed time away. Not much longer now. I am so excited to know we are leaving soon and yet I am patiently waiting for I know it will fly by. I want to enjoy every single moment. I want time to stand still while we are there. It's been so long. I know it's worth the wait. I'm going to make it a goal that we never go this long without a vacation again. We use to make it a point to go every single year. That is going to be a new goal of mine.

“The Sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

--Jacques Cousteau

Floating Along

Feeling a little better but things are still the same as they were in Days go By. Not much change in my situation but I'm feeling better so that is the most important thing.

I have hope. I have things in the makings and we will see how things go. It's just good to feel lighter. Making decisions is so hard for me. In the midst I feel as though I was weighted down by the whole world. My biggest fear is making the wrong decision. Afraid that my decision will cause me or my family great regret.

If you are a reader of my blog you know by now that making decisions isn't my forte. It the hardest part, next to not having control over things. lol Both of those are hard for me.

Right now I'm taking a breather.

I will soon be here:

Enjoying the sound of the ocean waves, the smell of the salty air, the feel of the wind blowing through my hair, the taste of salt on my lips, my feet in the sand, hand and hand with my husband. Nothing can top that. Bring on the beach!

I have appointments as soon as I return that will reveal the next steps of my future.

Time will tell.

"At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun." -Anonymous

Sleepy Boy

Oh how I love my sleepy little boy.