Peace

I have peace.

February

Really?

I can't believe January is gone.

Time really does fly.

Today was a beautiful day. I was very thankful for the warm sunshine, a short day at work, and a lunch date with my sister. Then I came home to Meadow and her friends-which always makes me smile, some of my best childhood memories are from my friends and cousins. On top of all of that, I spent the afternoon in the bed, cuddling, lazing, talking, and just spending quality-loving time with husband. It was a wonderful Saturday.

A wonderful first warm day of February for 2014.

Thanks Lord.......

Going Private For a While

I am going to make a change on my blog. I'm going to go private. If you want to continue to read send me an e-mail at  jb25853@email.vccs.edu  and I will add you. I'm going soon. Not sure how long I'll stay that way but it may be a long while, it may even be permanent. So if you want to continue to read let me know. Thanks ~ Jenileigh

Thankfulness

We've made it through two girls with the flu, one with the strep, two Thanksgivings, lots of visits, wisdom teeth removable coming this week, new job-at the same place- a promotion to office manager with lots of new things to learn. My brain is over crammed with things.  Yet, I have so much to be thankful for. I've wanted to blog but it seems like I can't find the time. I head to bed very early in order to handle my days that start so much earlier than I'm used to.

I miss my camera. I lost my phone. I used it as a camera to share so much. That hurts a lot on my blogging and major life event sharing. I'm hoping to figure out a way around this soon.

I wish I had all night to poor my heart out but tonight is just not that night.

Soon though. Soon.

RIP Shane Part 2

To lose a child is simply not in the natural order of things. Death is never easy to deal with. We love our loved ones and it hurts when they leave this world to enter the eternal one. Some how though as we age, we know that sooner or later death is certain to come. So when our grand parents go, our parents even, we knew it was coming.

No amount of knowing can prepare you and yet somehow, some way it does make it bearable.

Tonight, when these two parents seen their son for the last time laying in that casket, well, it broke me.

It crushed me.

It opened something inside of me that I didn't know what there and it tore it apart. Pain ripped through me. Thoughts of every kind. Help them Jesus. Ease their pain. Oh God, I'm so glad it wasn't my child. What if it were. What would I do? How would I handle things.

The daddy, he trembled, he shook. He seen spots, he almost passed out. His family gathered around him and coached him and told him it would be okay. Really, I thought? Really? You have the audacity to stand there and say words to this man who just lost his only son to try and comfort him?

He groaned. "I want to go with him! I just want to go with him!" He cried. Me too I thought. Me too. If that were my baby laying there I'd want to go to.

The mom, barely holding it together herself, mustered enough strength to command her husband to sit up and breathe. They had a daughter to live for. They could do this.

Until they reached the casket.

They crumbled.

I've never in my life seen people break to core like this. They held their son, they yelled, they pleaded. They loved him so much. "He's cold. My baby is cold. Help me get him up. Help me get him out of here. I need to get him a blanket. Someone please! Help me y'all." His father cried. I trembled. I lost it. I went into that deep place that had been opened up and I hated it. What could I do, what could I say. How could I help?

"He's not here," I heard come out of my mouth, "He's with the Lord." Where did that come from? That reality that their son was gone on before them. He was with the Father. The realization sunk in. And yet I was so angry.

Why? Why did this have to happen. Why are there so many things we can't understand now. Why must we wait so long for answers. Will we ever get them?

Finally it was time to go. "Let me see my boy just one last time" they plead. God how could they endure. A family that has been through more tragedy in their lives than I've ever read in a novel. How did they keep their sanity.

Did they?

Or did they just exist now. Floating along in this place of numbness.

Will they ever recover?

Lord please, I pray, in Jesus precious name, strengthen them. Help them to keep their sanity. Amen.

 His sister at the memorial held the day before the funeral.

A Senior Class who lost a classmate that was loved by all. 

Life as we all know it will never be the same. 

Another memorial will be held tomorrow night 8/31/13 at 7pm at Dehart Park in Woolwine. Shane's ashes will be scattered among his friends and family. Please keep Patrick County in your prayers and especially the parents, sister, and family from this tragic loss. 

God be with us all. 

RIP Daniel Shane Rogers 8/28/13

I have no words to express the pain of losing a loved one. So much goes through your mind. The last time you saw them. The last thing you said. The hug you got. I love you Shane. I know that your heart will never hurt again. You are safe in the arms of our Savior. I'll never forget you.

Shane died tragically today in a logging accident. He was a Senior at PCHS. I was so proud of him. He was an honest, kind hearted young man. Full time student and full time worker. A young man of honor.

You Know Who You Are

I just thought I'd let you know that your blog posts have all been copied and printed. You also might like to know that what you posted about me on your Facebook was also copied and printed. You can hide all you want but we have evidence and proof. It's too late. The last eight years your actions, the pain you've caused to each one of your children will catch up to you. You are the one with a record a mile long. You are the one who is money hungry and steal from your own children. Everything you said about me was a lie and yet true about you. I am no hypocrite. I am real and I know my flaws. So do others that are a part of my life.

I know your mind is confused. Maybe once all of this is over you can finally get the help you need and someone can finally stop you from abusing your children. I just hope they can heal and recover from all you've done to them. The Lord knows, and He will prevail in this situation.

I feel so sorry for you. I'm not angry for me, but I am angry for those you've destroyed and those you are still trying to destroy. I'm praying for the Lord to help me deal with my emotions. It's hard to watch someone repeatedly do the same thing over for so long and never show any signs of repentance or change. Especially when they are hurting innocent children. Even though God does forgive us, when we are sincere in our repentance and turn from our sin and truly allow Him to change us, there are consequences for our actions . You haven't changed. You continue to blame everyone else when you alone are the sole cause of the situation at hand and those in the past. You'll have to realize that and accept it before you'll ever be able to move on. The one thing you never wanted was to be like your mother and yet you have allowed yourself to become the epitome of what she use to be. This battle isn't over. You may feel victorious today but this is a battle you will not win.

Hoping and praying you are well on your way to the beach. That'll be the greatest thing you could do for anyone in your family.

And I'm so glad I don't have to hide. You coward. All you have is mouth. I'm not one you want to reckon with. I will testify in court. I will not back down. I will fight for what is right for that 14 year old boy that you were too sorry to raise!

(If you feel that this relates to you then take it for what it's worth. There are no names here. My blog isn't to single anyone out. I take situations in my life and deal with them here. I have since 2007. This could apply to many in my life-it's not singled out to one family in general.)

Other's Pain

My life is so peaceful but I see other's who are fighting a huge battle. I am in prayer for them. I am thankful that my husband and I are able to help them. God always makes a way. We live in a small community and everyone is pulling together to do all they can to help. In the end I KNOW that God is going to fix things once and for all and finally close a door that will allow them to go on and live their lives in peace. Please pray for them. Pray for the children, they've been so mentally abused for so long. Parents don't realize sometimes the damage they do their children, or maybe they do but they just don't care. Either way, the children need the protection of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Happy 12th Birthday Sweet Meadow!

I can't wait until we go to our photo shoot and get to have very good pictures made of us together. I want to tell you Happy Birthday and that I cannot believe that you are 12 years old. Time is flying by and you are becoming a  young lady right before my very eyes. You are my baby girl, my youngest daughter, my last child at home. My heart strings pull hard on you. I want you to always know how proud I am of you and that I look forward to watching you become a wonderful woman.

Walk baby girl, don't run.

Listen, don't always tell.

Stand out, be proud. Never look around, be who you are.

Be kind always.

Stand up for yourself but don't be too sensitive.

Always lend a hand.

Be honest.

Have self respect and integrity.

You make a difference in each and every life that you encounter. Stay close to the Lord, dig in His word and never stop praying.

I am so blessed to call you Meadow, you, my daughter.

People

It's so hard for me to grasp some people. I'm sure these ramblings are completely irrelevant but today I will voice them just the same.

How can you abandon your children and not accept the blame for that? How can you stay in touch with your daughter's ex husband who cheated on and almost destroyed your daughter? Is it to pay her back? To hurt her because she doesn't want you in her life any longer? Does it make you feel better about your selfish decisions?

You leave behind a son who is almost 14 but can't read or even write his own name and no one can do anything to help him because you filed religious exemption in the state of VA before you abandoned your family.

Now you have yet another daughter who has a chance at a fresh start and you and your ex her own father are going to scream the C word to try and get her to stay. Parents are suppose to take care of their children not the other way around.

You're fake. You're selfish. You're a liar. You both are. This isn't judgement it's an observation. It's truth.

No one is perfect but to knowingly continue to hurt your children is dead wrong. Both of you should be ashamed.

I pray the Lord open up doors to take them all out of both of your lives for good. Both of you should stop threatening everyone with your sob suicide stories and grow up.

If you are reading this please pray for this family. It's hard being so close to these children and sit idley by while their parents mentally destroy them. Even though two of these kids are of legal age the abuse continues. My heart cry is for it to STOP!

Enough rant. Sigh........

(If you feel that this relates to you then take it for what it's worth. There are no names here. My blog isn't to single anyone out. I take situations in my life and deal with them here. I have since 2007. This could apply to many in my life-it's not singled out to one family in general.)

Battles

Sometimes it's so easy to forget how the battles come. Things are so good, life so sweet, and you get so wrapped up in enjoying every moment. I know I've been sharing lately about how the Lord is wooing me back to Him. It's hard to explain everything in a blog. We've been with two different churches and aren't attending anywhere right now. For me, it gets a little lonely and easier to stray. Last night I spent some time with the Lord, time in prayer, worshipping. It was so sweet. I have some things in my life I know I need to turn from and I do need to focus more on my relationship with the Lord and His plan for my life and my husband's. I pondered these things and I can feel the Lord changing the desires of my heart. I love how He does that. How he takes away the urges and breaks chains and sets you free.

Then today I found myself in the midst of a battle. It'd been so long since the devil contested me I'd forgotten how quickly your feet can be knocked out from under you. It was in that moment, that moment of weakness, frustration, anger, and surrender that I fell. I gave in. I didn't even think. I just threw my hands in the air in frustration and pulled into the gas station. Yes, I know that is vague. Just know, I pulled into the gas station for a reason and it wasn't gas.

I had to make myself breathe. I had to control my temper. It was so hard.

It was afterwards that I realized that it was a battle. I hadn't even fought in it. I just gave in. I just gave up.

I spent the ride home listening to my husband's bluegrass band, "Almost There" cd. I praised the Lord. I repented. I did what I could do. Then I gave the rest to Him.

When I got home my husband was the pillar of strength. He comforted me, held me, and reassured me that no matter what happened all would be well. I took a nice, long, hot bath.

I'm feeling much better now. Stronger.

I pray that I can recognize the battle coming the next time. That I can turn to the Lord earlier for His wisdom and His strength.

Right now though I'm thankful for His forgiveness, His mercy and His grace. What an awesome God I serve.

2 Corinthians 1:3 "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort."

Summer Solstice and the Super Moon 2013

What a beautiful evening, spent at such a beautiful place. Tony and I went with his close friend Barry over to his forefathers land. Barry has built an absolutely beautiful fire pit out of rocks from the land. I have pictures of the fire but not the pit. I'm going to have to remember to take pictures of the pit next time we are over. The old place as it's called is one of my favorite places to hang out. The spirit of the land is so sweet. The only thing missing last night was the LED Hula Hoop I'm dreaming of! 

The fire was so warming and beautiful. 

 

The moon was so bright and full. 

My God is a majestic creator.

The energy and the mood was perfect. 

My husband was precious as gold. He grabbed me out of my chair and he danced with me in the moonlight. 

 

I love to dance. We celebrated our love and the Summer Solstice under the light of the Super Moon. 

What a wonderful night and spectacular view.

 

The only thing missing is a picture of me and my brother B. :)

Consequences

For some reason in today's time people seem to think that they can act however they please. They live how they want to live, taking what they want without thought of who they are hurting. Sometimes even knowing the pain they will cause but not caring. Then they blame other people for their actions. I guess inside it makes it easier for them to live with their own mistakes and themselves.

Maybe some people don't have the capability to look into their own lives and actually see the truth?

It seems to me like they are able to look back and lump their mistakes into one big happening. They forget to look back at their situation day by day. Action by action. Every mistake has a consequence. You never know when the time to pay the piper will come. Some mistakes catch up to you very quickly. Other's you pay for over and over again. And some even still will haunt you years later.

The flesh gets angry when this happens. We try to defend ourselves. What I've learned at the sweet age of 41 is to embrace those consequences no matter how hard they may be. I know the wrong decisions I've made and even though it's over for me, and I'm truly sorry for what I done it's not over for those I hurt. They are still battling the pain, trying to cope with it as it pops up and haunts them in their own lives.

Sometimes we feel that we deserve more than we really do. Should everything in our life be like it was before? I mean honestly should it?

When mistakes are so big they break up marriages, break hearts, confuse families, and abandon children people surely cannot continue to blame the family that isn't ready to forgive yet. Those that are still hurting.

We all know what the word of God says about forgiveness but you know what? Each person comes to that in their own time. You can't be so self righteous as to believe for one moment that an "I'm sorry" will just fix everything and turn things around to like they were before. Not everyone gets to have their cake and eat it too.

You also can't justify the wrong you did. Period. There is a right way and a wrong to handle things. When you knowingly choose the wrong path the consequences will be harder. I think Christianity is a huge cause of this sin and repent behavior. People are almost taught that no matter how bad they mess up whether by mistake or choice there are no consequences they only have to say "I'm sorry" or "forgive me".

In writing this I'm speaking from some experience. I'm not pointing fingers. I've made some big mistakes of my own, which is why I can say what I'm saying. I see the pain I've caused in many people although in one person especially. I see how the mistake I made years ago still effects them. They aren't purposely trying to punish me, they are simply trying to heal from the pain I knowingly caused. To recover from the choices I made. Forgiveness isn't a one time deal. It's something you often have to do daily, for the same person, for the very same reason, every day, because our flesh is bold and strong.

I'm thankful that our Lord loves us unconditionally. I'm thankful He doesn't remember once we've confessed our sins and sorrow for making the decisions we did. We also have to forgive ourselves. Yet even still, we never have the right to be angry at the ones we hurt. Those are the consequences of our mistakes. We have to learn to deal with and live with those. I'm sorry doesn't fix things. If we could figure out how to teach that lesson to our growing children we might see a new generation.

Days of June Gone By

The days are flying by. I am so enjoying being home. For those of you who are grandparents, you know the bliss it is to have the honor of being able to keep your grand children some. Having the time to spend together has bonded us even more, since I've not been in school.

Time is so precious.

Every morning I awake to thank the Lord for another beautiful day. I take time to enjoy every moment and I consciously focus on slowing things down and not rushing a thing.

My talks with my girls.

Meadow is home for the summer and we have lots of time to talk and snuggle. I find her in our bed already asleep many nights because I keep late hours. I miss my Sky the most. She is working two jobs and isn't here as much. Heaven and I took Sunday and went to Maxie B's in Greensboro and had fresh strawberry cake with buttercream frosting. She talked all the way there. We had gotten a cd out of her car to listen to and never once turned it on coming or going.

Me and my friend Kimmie have been spending lots of time together. We go to Roanoke, Greensboro, and Danville shopping, visiting cake shops, or picking up furniture found on Craigslist. Eating at nice restaurants. Enjoying the occasional mixed drink. Talking, laughing, and truly enjoying every single day. Having fun. I'd forgotten how to have fun and enjoy life.

Me and Kimmie

That is my new focus. To enjoy life. To have fun. To indulge a little.

Tory, Me and Mandy

Sometimes us girls will meet at Kimmies house and hang out. Even ole Boney will come over sometimes. Talk about funny.

Melanie and Me

Me and Kimmie again.

Today I am meeting my dear friend Andrea. I haven't seen her in a coon's age-so to speak-and we aren't sure if we are heading up the Mountain and to the Crooked Road Café or to Salem to the Blue Lotus tattoo shop. I'm calling now to see if Christinia-my artist-has any openings today for walk ins!

It's just Wednesday.

Tomorrow is my scheduling day. I'm booking my schedule to work for next week. I'm going to try to get in as many hours as I can. This past week was a great success, I just didn't schedule me enough hours. I am feeling things out because I don't want to overload myself. I'm learning to balance my at home time and my out of the house time.

Just Me.

Well, I guess that is it for now.

Absence in May

Sorry I've haven't had a chance to update here during this beautiful month of May.

I'm keeping my precious grandson Monday-Thursday each week and have been keeping a good friend's two little ones here and there as well. That, along with class reunions, the Honduras Coffee Shop on some Friday nights, taking small dates with my sweet husband-riding out onto beautiful land with gorgeous rivers, visiting my dear mother in law and her hubby, cooking dinners and pies. (I've been on a pie kick. Did I tell you that? I don't think I did. Homemade chocolate pies, strawberry pies, oh yummy!).

I try hard to share my adventures here on my blog for various reasons. Mainly as a dairy, so that one day my family, my children, and grandchildren can come back here and read my life in my words. It's a wonderful way to journal memories, thoughts, events, and pictures. The beautiful weather of the month and the many events taking place have detoured me.

I've just been wrapped up in life. It feels good. I cannot explain the welcome feeling I have toward the spring and the summer coming. I immensely enjoy the outdoors. We are talking about trying to get a camping trip together. I love camping next to the rivers in our area. I live in such a beautiful place. I need to spend more time taking pictures and sharing them with you.

Yesterday, I went to the Doctor with my oldest daughter Heaven. She is 16 weeks pregnant. She has been very sick-which reminds me so much of me with my own pregnancies. She has lost weight and not gained. She is beginning to have a few good days here and there, so I'm hoping as she progresses further into her 2nd trimester she will continue to feel better. The next appointment in June we will learn of her babies gender! She has a girls name all picked out but a boys name is nowhere in the future. lol She isn't sharing names just yet, because the last time she shared a girls name that she had chosen it was taken by a close friend. This time, she is savoring it until the last moment.

Savannah has gotten her a car, a 2003 Volkswagen Beetle Convertible and is working for a friend of mine. She is still hunting another job to fill in the gaps but I'm very proud of her.

Meadow is ready for the summer. Only two more weeks maybe of school?

My husband and I have spent this last year falling in love all over again. July 4th will be our 20th year Anniversary. We have had some great years and just a couple of really down ones. The Lord has held us together tightly and He enables our hearts to be forgiving and understanding. He has given us patience with one another and time, and time has been the best friend to us of everything. Time is a bond in itself. The love we share now is different than the love we shared in the beginning. It's only something that someone who has experienced can understand because words just can't describe the meaning. I'm most thankful for my husband, my very best friend. I love him so much. I have so respect for him. He is such an honorable man. He makes me a better woman. Marriage, it is a wonderful thing. I'm blessed beyond measure that ours has lasted and is still going strong.

I guess in this post what I'm sharing is that I have learned to love life again. For a while there I was so caught up in becoming a nurse that I left all else and forgot how to enjoy life. My happiness depending on passing or failing. For now, I'm taking a break. It's just the 18th of May so the next month may hold a different foretelling. School will either go back June 17th or the middle of September. Me, well I'm going with the flow. I'll decide when the time comes.

For now, I'm going to get in the shower and get ready to go on the mountain. I'm keeping my grandson tonight, picking up my mother-in-law and going to hear my husband sing in his blue grass gospel group and spend some time with the Lord.

(And a note to my sweet friend Debra, thank-you from the bottom of my heart for your comments. They warm my soul and put a smile on my face. Your friendship is precious to me. I apologize for being away so long and missing your encouraging words. Please know that I cherish them. Hugs to you.)

April is Almost Gone

I've gotten lost in the month. The beautiful weather, sunshine, smell, rain, coolness, warmth, sunning, bonfires, friends, family, children, dinners, appointments.... ah life.

How I've enjoyed the past few weeks. It's so pleasant being able to spend each day however I wanted. I've been reading books, so many books and watching movies-not as many movies but I can say that Les Miserables is next on my list of movies to watch late at night all alone. I can't wait.

I'm teetering between beginning school in June or beginning school in September. I do believe I'll end up going with June. It'll be a much quicker graduation date. I've sat back and thought through so many things and I know that I have to do this. It's in me to be a nurse. The desire is so strong.

Tony and I are doing amazing. This year, very soon, will be our 20th year Anniversary. I believe that this year has been one of our very best. The happiness we feel is thick, you can smell it, feel it, lay in it like a soft cloud. It's fun. We have been just relishing one another. I love it when things are like this. After 20 years I know it isn't like this all the time, but we've both noticed this precious time we are spending together and are both determined to hold onto it for as long as we can.

My life is so full of children again. My sweet Treyton and Derron. My best friend Mandy's little boy Brody, and daughter Ella. Everything around me so serene.

Tony and I were talking about how badly we'd wanted more children. How hard we'd tried to have them, and in the end learning that God had other things in store for us. I couldn't be happier. At 41 and chasing all these young ones around I KNOW that I do not want to be a mother full time. But that being a Mimi is the sweetest of all worlds.

Tony and I have time to be alone, date, party, have fun together, praise God together, to live. And yet, our lives are still full of littles everywhere. It's not so exhausting.

I cannot wait until October this year and I get to meet my new little grandbaby. Oh to smell that babies breath. My favorite of all things.

April. One of the sweetest months. It's flew right by. And May is just around the corner.

May. Another warm month. Another month of free time for this Mimi.

Bliss.

One of my favorite things is having flowers in my hair. This poem brings such a smile to my lips.

MAY CROWN

All early in the morning
I rose to greet the day,
And underneath my window
I saw a Child at play.

The robins were not fearful
Of one so mild and meek;
They lighted on His shoulder
And nested at His cheek.

He picked the clustering roses,
The lily in its sheath,
The long-stemmed purple violets,
And wove them in a wreath.

And then I saw a Lady
Come walking in the dew;
Her robe was white as starshine,
Her mantle was deep blue.

And as the Child approached her,
All sweetly she knelt down
And bent her head, receiving
His fragrant, flowery crown.

Helen Connolly
The Magnificat. Volume LXVI. Number 1. May 1940.

Another April Day

"This spring as it comes bursts up in bonfires green,

Wild puffing of emerald trees, and flame-filled bushes,

Thorn-blossom lifting in wreaths of smoke between

Where the wood fumes up and the watery, flickering rushes. 

I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration

Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze

Of growing, and sparks that puff in wild gyration,

Faces of people streaming across my gaze."

-  D. H. Lawrence, The Enkindled Spring 

I love the feeling April brings. I've been in a slump for so long. It feels good to be slowly peeping out. Feeling hope. Feeling change. Wondering what comes next? What will I do? Where will I turn. Honestly, I'm so ready for a change. I've always dreamed of living on the mountain, not just at the foot of it. We've found two properties that would work so beautifully. But is now the time? Probably not. Dreaming is such fun. One day. One glorious day. The future holds so much hope. It's time to clean out. Spring cleaning must commence. That'll brighten everything and shake all the wintry blues out of the house. Fresh air, fresh starts, a new year. 2013. 

Happy April 2013

"Now that the winter's gone, the earth hath lost

Her snow-white robes, and now no more the frost
Candies the grass, or casts an icy cream
Upon the silver lake or crystal stream;

But the warm sun thaws the benumbed earth,

And makes it tender; gives a sacred birth

To the dead swallow; wakes in hollow tree

The drowsy cuckoo and the humble-bee.

Now do a choir of chirping minstrels bring

In triumph to the world the youthful spring."

-  Thomas Carew, The Spring, 1630  

I am so thankful for April. It's a beautiful day. I smell spring in the air. The sunshine is feeding strength to my weak self. The birds are chirping beautiful music to my ears. A glorious day. It refreshes my soul. I wonder, what will today bring? I'm out and about to discover. Happy April y'all! 

Falling In and Climbing Out

Yesterday was one of those days that I felt so down. I wanted to drink. I wanted to really drink. I felt as though I needed a release. I needed to get away. I needed to escape. It's strange how strong that feeling can be sometimes. I haven't shared a lot about it because honestly, most of the time, I try to deny it. To pretend it isn't there, that it never existed.

THANKFULLY.......

Instead, I found my release in One Tree Hill. Goodness I LOVE that show. A show built around some serious friendships and lots of love.

This morning I was so glad that I made that choice. I chose to live vicariously through fictional characters instead of getting drunk and dreaming that I was in another world.

I had an interview today at a different college. Things look good. No, actually they are looking great. This program is so tailored for me. I know I'm on a path that I can survive.

Sometimes life happens suddenly.

Suddenly.

Never underestimate life. You can't figure it out. You can't plan for it. You can't let it take you down. All you can do is LIVE it. And do your best to handle everything it throws at you with grace. As much grace as you can muster at the moment.

Failing out of RN school was humbling and humiliating, but I made a decision when I began this journey. I promised myself that I would NOT quit and I won't. I will not give up until I am a registered nurse.

Thomas Edison once said, "I failed my way to success." Those are words that I intend to live by.

I want to share with you one of my favorite poems. It is deep. I read it several times over to allow it to seep into me. For it's reality to hit. It strengthens me. It gives me hope. It feeds me with determination. Maybe it will you too.

Invictus – the poem

by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Invictus is Latin for undefeated. Life can throw many things at you but in the end it is ultimately your decision on how you handle life. You can allow your circumstances to control you or you can fight back and take what you were meant to have. It just depends on how badly you want it. 

Snowy Beauty

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Last night we got a little surprise. They were calling for ice but we got snow. I think a little ice came in before the snow hit but the snow is so billowing and beautiful.

Tony was off work, I am out of school, Savannah Sky is home, and school was canceled for Meadow.

Family Day.

I love them.

Few and far between.

Meadow has been a little under the weather for over a week now. Cold with sore throat and continuous cough. She has a doctors appointment in an hour. Tony and I are going to upgrade our cell phones. I think it's time for the Droid! I'm oober excited.

Meadow has been asked to go on a mini vacation with one of her good friends from school. They are going snow tubing, spending the night in a hotel, eating out and possibly going tubing again the next day. I am so thankful for opportunities like this. I know she is going to have a blast. She leaves in the morning.

Tony and I have decided that we are going to the beach for a few days over spring break. I cannot wait. We are planning to take his mom as well. The beach is her favorite place and she has not been in 13 years. I talked to her yesterday about it and she was so excited.

God is good. We are so blessed to be able to enjoy the life we live together. Family, so tightly knit together.

Guess I need to get ready to head out, and prepare for studying this evening and weekend. Unless we head back out to Honduras Coffee Shop tonight. Another musician is playing and I LOVE the folk music and the company.

Oh, I almost forgot. I am going to share a couple of pictures of our snow. It's not a lot but it is definitely enough. I enjoy the serenity of it.

 

 

Our trees in our back yard. 

 

 

Meadow's foot prints on our back porch off of our kitchen.