No amount of knowing can prepare you and yet somehow, some way it does make it bearable.
Tonight, when these two parents seen their son for the last time laying in that casket, well, it broke me.
It crushed me.
It opened something inside of me that I didn't know what there and it tore it apart. Pain ripped through me. Thoughts of every kind. Help them Jesus. Ease their pain. Oh God, I'm so glad it wasn't my child. What if it were. What would I do? How would I handle things.
The daddy, he trembled, he shook. He seen spots, he almost passed out. His family gathered around him and coached him and told him it would be okay. Really, I thought? Really? You have the audacity to stand there and say words to this man who just lost his only son to try and comfort him?
He groaned. "I want to go with him! I just want to go with him!" He cried. Me too I thought. Me too. If that were my baby laying there I'd want to go to.
The mom, barely holding it together herself, mustered enough strength to command her husband to sit up and breathe. They had a daughter to live for. They could do this.
Until they reached the casket.
I've never in my life seen people break to core like this. They held their son, they yelled, they pleaded. They loved him so much. "He's cold. My baby is cold. Help me get him up. Help me get him out of here. I need to get him a blanket. Someone please! Help me y'all." His father cried. I trembled. I lost it. I went into that deep place that had been opened up and I hated it. What could I do, what could I say. How could I help?
"He's not here," I heard come out of my mouth, "He's with the Lord." Where did that come from? That reality that their son was gone on before them. He was with the Father. The realization sunk in. And yet I was so angry.
Why? Why did this have to happen. Why are there so many things we can't understand now. Why must we wait so long for answers. Will we ever get them?
Finally it was time to go. "Let me see my boy just one last time" they plead. God how could they endure. A family that has been through more tragedy in their lives than I've ever read in a novel. How did they keep their sanity.
Or did they just exist now. Floating along in this place of numbness.
Will they ever recover?
Lord please, I pray, in Jesus precious name, strengthen them. Help them to keep their sanity. Amen.
His sister at the memorial held the day before the funeral.
A Senior Class who lost a classmate that was loved by all.
Life as we all know it will never be the same.
Another memorial will be held tomorrow night 8/31/13 at 7pm at Dehart Park in Woolwine. Shane's ashes will be scattered among his friends and family. Please keep Patrick County in your prayers and especially the parents, sister, and family from this tragic loss.
God be with us all.