September 25, 2007

'I Am' Study by The Preachers Wife lesson 1

Lesson One - I Am - Your Beauty
This Study is moving and powerful. If you would like to join in just click the button and find your way to lesson one. I'm actually coming in a month late but plan to catch up. Lisa truly is great in our Christ Jesus! What a mentor!

These are questions asked at the end of part one of this Bible Study I am participating in:

1. Are there any circumstances or relationships in your life where you can see God has intentionally placed you? What do you perceive may be at stake if you do or do not speak out for Him?

There are many circumstances and relationships that I look around and see that my walk with God matters in more ways than you would see at first glance. I know it is a God thing when a sweet lady at church that I barely knows walks up to me and begins to share that she suffers from depression and how she is in the midst of a battle. It is no coincidence that I battled depression and the Lord delivered me. I was able to share with her this victory. Even though I experience setbacks that is only more training. Showing me that God delivered me but I must walk in that deliverance. I must stand steadfast in my faith, in HIS WORD, and on His promises.

Children...there are so many of every age from 5-20. The Lord has blessed me with my home and even though I long to have more children from my womb the Lord fills my home overflowing with them. Some having tramatic childhoods and it amazes me how I can understand because I too have been there.

Strangers....the other day this little old man, sweating profusely and looking blind in one came by and rang the door bell. I was home alone with my two younger daughters. I was frightened at first. I answered my door, all the while asking God what He willed for us to do. The man said he had walked to his sisters house and she wasn't home, he thought he was having a heat stroke and he needed a ride home. My flesh said no, I heard the fear raging the what ifs, but I heard the calm voice of God saying help him. This scripture came to mind: Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. So I gave him a ride and when I arrived at his home his grandson ran out to help him. I praised my Lord.

My sister, my brother, my father, so many are watching me. At times I can almost feel as though they are just waiting for me to fall. And I do, but my Father always, always, always picks me up. I pray that is what they see.

What is at stake? Their souls? Their deliverance? Their freedom?

2. Can you honestly describe yourself as a woman with a 'yes' in her spirit? If not, what keeps you from this?

I can honestly say I try. But often times when I desire so strongly to say yes it is my own emotions that keep me from being a Yes spirit all of the time. Especially lately....I seem so tired, headaches, not being able to sleep at night then my body wanting to catch up when I have responsibilities to do. I have big plans in my mind. I dream big dreams. But it seems as though I lack the follow through. The things I accomplish seem to be the things that force themselves upon me. Like that old man, he was at my door and I had to do something, but if he had been an appointment at the nursing home I don't think I would have been so willing. It would have been easier to call and cancel. I don't know the name, fear? Laziness? I know I have battled it for a long time and it is one thing about myself that I really do not like at all and yet seem so helpless to change.

3. Do you recognize any circumstances in your life which could be described as an 'unrecurring event'? Have you ever said 'no' to one and watched God use someone else instead?

Oh yes, many times. It is a very disheartening feeling to know that God specifically called me to do something and when I said no someone else picked it up and ran with it. Seeing the success that the Lord was wanting to use me in. Sometimes its small things and I just didn't get it, I didn't recognize the importance of the situation or that it was the will of God. Sometimes its hard to know if its me or the Holy Spirit, other times you just know. Then sometimes its big things, and I know, but for whatever reason I decline the Lord. I would say Fear is a huge factor in this.

4. Are you in an emotionally and spiritually healthy place? If yes, how are you using this freedom to minister to others? If no, what do you feel is holding you in your Egypt?

Well this is one of those questions that has two answers. I am definitely in a better place than I was when I began but I'm not in as good of a place emotionally or spiritually as I once was. My biggest problem is the words I speak over myself, my life, my situations. Forgetting to see things through spiritual eyes and looking at things in the physical and allowing myself to be overwhelmed and stepping out of my faith. Habits. I've dealt with these all my life and had wonderful freedom and powerful deliverance for over a year and slowly habits crept back in. Little by little and then I wake up and wonder what happened. Its hard to get back once you've drifted. The annointing the power. I am on the upswing of stomping those habits out. Calling things that are not as though they were. Standing on God's promises even when they have yet to come to pass. Why oh why did I step back into Egypt?

I have to add to this. I know why satan is on me. I know why I am suffering so. I know that the Lord is trying to use me to help my sister but I have not been able to. By going back and rereading this part of the study it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. God's timing is perfect. Read this.

I'm copying this from the I Am Bible Study linked above:
There are women in our midst who are dying - emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically. What are we going to do about it? How are we going to protect our sisters from the enemy? When are we going to stand firm and proclaim to Satan - Enough! You can not have her! My heart burns with indignation towards the enemy for the constant turmoil he places in our lives - the heartache, temptation, and oppression. Satan also understands the time concept and places obstacles to prevent us from possessing our lands of Promise - the place we can dwell unbound and able to bless. So his plan? Keep us spiritually and emotionally unhealthy. If we are weak, our hurting sisters our weaker. It is that simple. It is time to stand, to be the healthy ones, to be the women who will take our place between Satan and our broken sister until she is able to stand on her on.

My mother called this morning and my sister is in a deep deep bondage. Satan is after her life. Period. She is in a weak state and is believing the lies the enemy is feeding her. This is urgent. Please stand with me, stand in this gap with me as I pray for her.

My dear Abba Daddy, I come to You and I ask that You - God remove the veil from her eyes, the buffers from her ears. I bind the enemy in the mighty name of Jesus and I loose truth. I pray a hedge of protection around her and I ask You Father to commission angels to fight this spiritual battle going on around her now. Speak to her Lord so that she knows it is You. I ask too Lord that you send forth a laborer to speak to her, to show her Your love, comfort her heart. Thank-You Father in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

1 comment:

Heather C said...

Thank you for being so honest in your perpsectives on this study and in your answers! I am praying for your sister... standing with you in the gap. Keep us "posted"... God bless!