June 14, 2007

I'm so mad!

I guess mad is the word. Mad, angry, frustrated. UGH!!!! How many out there have been there and done this with a teenager?? OK, here goes. My 16yo daughter had this guy fall for her. I mean obsessively fall for her. Yes she liked him to for a while in the beginning. We all actually knew him for several years from our old church before the so called crush happened. He got her attention by getting her to feel sorry for him. He had had a horrible childhood and I can agree with him there, he had been through alot. But this kid is disrespectful, rude, controlling and has some serious mental issues. In the beginning we tried so hard to help him and as a mom I tried not to judge but I really seen my daughter going down the wrong road with this kid. I seen warning signs everywhere and these situations aren't easy. I heard this boy talk so disrespectfully to my daughter, everything was all about him and he fed her such lies. Finally, we had to step in and say, sorry but this isn't happening. No more phone, no more meetings, nothing, no more contact. This was getting dangerous.

Well did the boy quit? Nope, he found a way to contact my daughter, he threatened suicide if she didn't talk to him. She wound up lying to us for weeks about talking with him and I was simply disgusted. Not only was the boy not giving up but neither was his mother. She called me, my husband, my mother, my mother-in-law. She even contacted the secretary at my new church!!! All the while pleading her case of how we were ruining her son because he was in love with our daughter and we forbid them to see one another and if anything happened to him it would be our fault. These kids are 16! 16! She began sending my daughter letters in the mail addressed to Heaven but with no return address. We have changed Heaven's cell phone # twice now.

Praise God that Heaven finally woke up. She & my husband met with this boy and his parents to have a final say that we don't want to have anymore contact. The boy put his hand through a wall and was bleeding pretty bad, he is very unstable. The father had the nerve to look at my husband and say, "You might me able to keep them apart now, but when they are 18 they'll be together." Heaven told the boy it was over, that she wanted it to be over. That was several months ago and I thought it may be over for us even though I knew the calls were still coming in to my mil from the boys mom and I would catch a letter here and there.

Well tonight I have 4 calls from his home. Finally answering the phone I find its him...honestly I was expecting his mother and I would NOT have been nice. He asked to speak to my husband. I gave him husband's cell because he was on the road. He called my husband and said he wanted to meet with us again because he had some things he wanted to say and that he felt like he didn't have any control. Control? Control!!!! Someone please tell me what kind of control he should have over MY family!!!! Husband tells the boy, look, if you and your family do not stop and leave us completely alone we are going to have to take some kind of action. Heaven has told you its over, we are telling you its over, leave her alone. The boy threatens to hurt himself again and tells my husband that he won't be able to control Heaven forever. How my husband held his tongue I'll never know.

When is this going to end? What do I do? I mean really legally what do I have to stand on? Please pray that this kid get some help and that he leaves my daughter alone. If you have any advice on how to deal with the anger I'm feeling please share it with me. Maybe the anger I feel is trying mask the fear that is trying to creep in? Please stand in agreeance with me that my daughter is protected and is covered by the blood. I'm going to pray Psalms 91. It always chases away my fear. Then I'm going to apply my armor from Ephesians 6:10-18.

Psalms 91~I pray out loud
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.

Ephesians 6:10-20~I apply God's word
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Side note in the Bible:
The battle for your heart is fierce. God is taking ground in your life and the cost was Christ' blood. Don't retreat. Put on your armor and stand your ground soldier!!

I take a stand against this attack from satan in the mighty name of Jesus!! I pray dear Lord that You send someone to help this boy. Someone who can reach this family and offer them what they need to hear from God to show them there is hope, there is a way. I plead the blood of Jesus over my family and I ask You MY Father to send out mighty warrior angels to fight this battle that is going on in the spiritual realm. Father forgive me where I have failed and fallen to the flesh. Strengthen me that I only hear Your voice and do Your will and that I set myself aside. Give me wisdom in this situation. Lead, guide and direct each one of us here and now. Father may You have all the glory, we praise and honor only You for You are worthy to be praised. Hallelujah!!! Thank-You Father, my Abba Daddy, for taking such good care of me and chasing away my fears!! In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Thanks for joining me in prayer. I feel much better!!


annie said...

Wow, having a 16 year old daughter myself I can really feel your situation. Amanda doesn't date too much, she liked a guy who seemed nice and then told him she wanted to just be friends. I can't imagine having a stalker like that. I would just ignore him and hoped that he went away, next option ... restraining order, but only if your daughter is really trying to keep away from him. Is she giving him any hope that they can have a relationship or is she finished with him too? I will pray for you, how stressful.

Susanne said...

My goodness, Jenileigh! Praying for you and your family. It sounds like it's not just the boy who needs help but the whole family. There's got to be something wrong with the parent's also, if they can back him up threatening to hurt himself. I pray their eyes would be opened. May God provide a hedge of protection around your family and give you the wisdom for the steps to take to bring this to a close.

Irritable Mother said...

Oh, my!
I can't imagine being in your position right now. I'm joining, too, in praying for you - believing God is big enough to handle this situation and that He can bring good out of it for His glory.

eph2810 said...

That indeed is a very stressful situation regarding your daughter and this boy.
I think you are doing the right thing -- praying for protection and for deliverance for the boy.
Just like Annie said - if you daughter really doesn't want him in her life, get a restraining order against him and his family.

I know that might be harsh, but it might be a wake-up call the family needs.

Be blessed today and always.

Jenny in Ca said...

goodness Jenileigh, this is really serious. Please, go to the police and get a restraining order, and sit down and document everything that has happened so far, and start keeping a log of any contact..the times and dates. He could become really dangerous.
Praying for you,