February 28, 2013

Days Go By

Psalm 143:7-8 – Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I’ll lift up my soul.

This month has drug by so slowly. I have been so down. Real down.

This last week I've been depressed, so sad, weak, and helpless.

I study, I read, do quizzes, case studies, NCLEX practice questions, but it seems as though none of it matters.

I hate feeling this way. Like I'm failing, drowning and there is nothing I can do to save me.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I mean reality has to hit sooner or later right? If I can't pass these tests then I'm going to fail out of school.

That thought hurts. It's also embarrassing.

I battle. Do I quit? Do I drop out? Can I pull my averages up? Am I wasting my time?

I promised myself one thing from the beginning, and that was, that I would not quit.

No matter what.

I would not quit.

I never knew it would be this hard.

This week has been a very emotional week. I've struggled. Really struggled.

Today, I don't have any answers. I have no inspiration.

But I know the One who does. He hasn't shared them with me yet but He will. Until then, I'll lean on Him, and trust in Him, because I know He is holding me, protecting me, and leading my foot steps.

I don't know what my future holds but I praise the Lord that He holds my future.


2 comments:

Anna said...

Perhaps this poem by Bonhoeffer will comfort you

http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=385

I'm praying for you.

-Anna1111

Jenileigh said...

Thank-you Anna. So much!