RIP Shane Part 2

To lose a child is simply not in the natural order of things. Death is never easy to deal with. We love our loved ones and it hurts when they leave this world to enter the eternal one. Some how though as we age, we know that sooner or later death is certain to come. So when our grand parents go, our parents even, we knew it was coming.

No amount of knowing can prepare you and yet somehow, some way it does make it bearable.

Tonight, when these two parents seen their son for the last time laying in that casket, well, it broke me.

It crushed me.

It opened something inside of me that I didn't know what there and it tore it apart. Pain ripped through me. Thoughts of every kind. Help them Jesus. Ease their pain. Oh God, I'm so glad it wasn't my child. What if it were. What would I do? How would I handle things.

The daddy, he trembled, he shook. He seen spots, he almost passed out. His family gathered around him and coached him and told him it would be okay. Really, I thought? Really? You have the audacity to stand there and say words to this man who just lost his only son to try and comfort him?

He groaned. "I want to go with him! I just want to go with him!" He cried. Me too I thought. Me too. If that were my baby laying there I'd want to go to.

The mom, barely holding it together herself, mustered enough strength to command her husband to sit up and breathe. They had a daughter to live for. They could do this.

Until they reached the casket.

They crumbled.

I've never in my life seen people break to core like this. They held their son, they yelled, they pleaded. They loved him so much. "He's cold. My baby is cold. Help me get him up. Help me get him out of here. I need to get him a blanket. Someone please! Help me y'all." His father cried. I trembled. I lost it. I went into that deep place that had been opened up and I hated it. What could I do, what could I say. How could I help?

"He's not here," I heard come out of my mouth, "He's with the Lord." Where did that come from? That reality that their son was gone on before them. He was with the Father. The realization sunk in. And yet I was so angry.

Why? Why did this have to happen. Why are there so many things we can't understand now. Why must we wait so long for answers. Will we ever get them?

Finally it was time to go. "Let me see my boy just one last time" they plead. God how could they endure. A family that has been through more tragedy in their lives than I've ever read in a novel. How did they keep their sanity.

Did they?

Or did they just exist now. Floating along in this place of numbness.

Will they ever recover?

Lord please, I pray, in Jesus precious name, strengthen them. Help them to keep their sanity. Amen.

 His sister at the memorial held the day before the funeral.

A Senior Class who lost a classmate that was loved by all. 

Life as we all know it will never be the same. 

Another memorial will be held tomorrow night 8/31/13 at 7pm at Dehart Park in Woolwine. Shane's ashes will be scattered among his friends and family. Please keep Patrick County in your prayers and especially the parents, sister, and family from this tragic loss. 

God be with us all. 

RIP Daniel Shane Rogers 8/28/13

I have no words to express the pain of losing a loved one. So much goes through your mind. The last time you saw them. The last thing you said. The hug you got. I love you Shane. I know that your heart will never hurt again. You are safe in the arms of our Savior. I'll never forget you.

Shane died tragically today in a logging accident. He was a Senior at PCHS. I was so proud of him. He was an honest, kind hearted young man. Full time student and full time worker. A young man of honor.

Roxy in the Wind

I love my baby girl. She will be 6 this November. She is rotten as they come. She loves to ride. I just know that she would love riding the bike, but we can't find a safe and secure way for her to ride. I wish I had someone to take a picture of the front of her face. I should have had my mirror turned. Hmmmm Maybe later this week.........

Showing Some Doxie Love

Suki Sue. I just love her eyes.

Suki and Slanky. Sweet Siblings

Different Edit

Aren't their colors gorgeous? He's a Dapple and she's a Double Dapple.

The Slank.

This was coming home from taking Meadow to her friend Kylie's today. Meadow walks to school with Kylie and the pups love to ride. What a mess they are! Growing up a storm too.

I Respect Myself

It was something that took me years to learn.

I'm thankful I did. 

Come Alive

 

What makes me alive? Besides the air I breathe?

 My husband.

I don't just say that. I mean it.

He is my rock. He keeps me stable and accountable.

His love is unconditional. When I see myself through his eyes, I see a different me than the one I see when I see through my eyes. He offers me protection and strength. He loves me in spite of all of my imperfections, sometimes I feel he loves me because of them. He doesn't seek to change me. He only wants me to be happy. He always considers me before himself. He expects so little.

 

I no longer take him for granted. I see him through new eyes. My love for him is so deep and my appreciation even deeper. The father he is, the responsibility he takes on, his faithfulness, his longsuffering, the man he is. He deserves so much more than me.

He doesn't feel that way though.

 

20 plus years. Can time really go by so fast? More of my life with him than without. I know no life without him. I never care to.

 

Tony Bowman, I love you. I'm so sorry for each and every mistake I've made. There are many things I would change if I could. But I can't. So I pray, everyday, that the Lord will continue to bond us closer and deepen our love that is growing and we see those days He has planned for us and that my mistakes never take you from me. I want to spend my life, alive, with you, and for you. I love you Mr. Bowman.

 

Thank-You Lord Jesus for my husband.

He helps me to come Alive! 

Loving Prey Model Raw

Well here is what 40lbs of chicken backs and 30lbs of turkey necks look like. I can honestly say I didn't realize how large turkey necks could be. These things must have been monster size turkeys!

Chicken Backs

Turkey Necks

Cut up Turkey necks and Chicken backs

Bagged and ready to feed.

My freezer is almost full. Just enough room for my orders of Green Tripe and Organ Meat to come in. I can't wait for hunting season. These little doggies are going to load up on deer meat! I need to find a way to get some raw fish at a fair price. Right now they are getting sardines once a week. These girls are going to be so healthy. I'm already seeing amazing differences in their smell, their breath, their teeth and their poop. :)

All on a Saturday Night

I worked today. My feet hurt. Ha! Lots of standing but that's definitely okay. Lord knows I need the exercise. I sure wish I could find that will I had a few years ago where I made healthier choices with my eating and I walked 4 miles a day at least 5 days a week. I love exercising but somehow I'm just too tired to get out there and DO anything.

It would help me in so many ways. How I feel, how I look, the things I can do. Help me pray about this one. It's a battle between my spirit and my flesh and I keep giving into my flesh.

So tonight I ponder. So many thoughts running through my head at one time. But you know, that's okay. Because that is me. I have nights like this. Late nights when I have early mornings the next day because I have to open and close the store. Yet, here I sit. Tonight I'll leave you with a visual. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, I'll fall asleep earlier than anticipated.

Prey Model Feeding

This is Suki. She is 12 weeks old. She is a Double Dapple Miniature Dachshund. She has been on the Prey Model Raw food way of eating for 3 weeks now. We started with chicken quarters cut up. She loved it from her first meal. This week we added chicken liver one day. This caused her stools to loosen but not to diarrhea. I think she handled it well. She certainly loved it.

Of course you know the second doggie pictured here, is Roxy, our Shih Tzu and she is 7 years old. It took her a few days to adjust to eating raw. Now she is flourishing. I can't wait until we've passed a 4 month point and I can share before and after pictures. I'm so hoping that this diet is going to show in these doggies skin care, teeth, and breath.

This morning we added in ground deer. This is a goody I have had in my freezer for a while. Both Suki and Roxy LOVED it. They devoured it first and then ate the chicken. I'm hoping their tummy systems tolerate it well. Here are a few pictures for you to enjoy. I love watching them eat raw. I truly know I'm doing what is best for my babies!

Suki



Roxy

Just a Closer Walk with Thee

I work on top of the mountain. In the Blue Ridge Mountains. It's beautiful. The drive is so peaceful. I look forward to my time at this quaint little store. The spirit there is so sweet. I'll post some pictures soon. We make goodies weekly like all kinds of different fudges and homemade fried pies. We have fresh produce and neat gifts. My family is really eating good and I must say healthier since my employment at this special place. Each month or so we listen to a different cd. My first month there we heard Johnny Cash. Other employees, especially the youngins, tire of hearing the older music. I never do. It's therapy for my soul. I believe I've mentioned this before. We made a change, and now it is Patsy Cline's voice that fills the store. How I love her voice and her songs. It's very nostalgic. For me though it brings back my grandmother, Nannie as I called her, Louise West. How I miss her. Her coy jokes and sweet voice. How she loved to sing.

 

Today, this is the song the Lord has laid upon my heart. It means a lot to me for many different reasons. It was also the song we sang on my, "Walk to Emmaus." I never hear it and not remember that time in my life. I was so bound. I was saved but did not know deliverance. Since then I've been set free from so many of my past bondages. This song represents so much in my life and my own struggles. My favorite version is sung by no other than Patsy Cline herself. I hope you enjoy. The words ring true for me every time I  hear this.

 



 

 

I am weak, but Thou art strong;

Jesus, keep me from all wrong;

I’ll be satisfied as long

As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

 

Refrain:

Just a closer walk with Thee,

Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,

Daily walking close to Thee,

Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

 

Through this world of toil and snares,

If I falter, Lord, who cares?

Who with me my burden shares?

None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

 

When my feeble life is o’er,

Time for me will be no more;

Guide me gently, safely o’er

To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.

Adventures with Treyton

We started our morning out with McDonald's! And then followed that with Chuck E Cheese! We had the best day! Heaven is 28 weeks and had to go to her midwife. She had to do the sugar test among other things. So, Treyton and I took advantage of some free time. After we picked Heaven up from her appointment we went on into Roanoke to enjoy the rest of our day. We had a blast.

Flashback

This is my old blog header. I miss some of my old styles. My family has changed so much since this was made.

Pappy, Treyton and the Motorcycle

This kid loves to ride. Poor ole Pappy had been working since 3:30 am this morning. He was tired and wore out. He had already made it in the house, ate, took his shoes and socks off, and sat down to relax for the evening. Then Treyton says, "Pappy, we motorcycle men, let's ride the motorcycle!" How could a tired Pappy say no? Mimi came out with her cell phone to take pictures. The laughter you can't hear in the photos brought sheer joy to my heart. Seeing the look of the awesome rush he felt flying up the road and listening to the roar of the bike made him feel like he was on a rollercoaster I'm sure. His face glowed! Moments like this are priceless. If you look real close on this last picture you can see my Meadow ducking behind her daddy hiding from the camera. At 12 she didn't have her hair fixed or her make-up on and did not want her picture on Facebook or Blogger. God is good.

Exhausted

Let me tell you, I really wanna sit down and give a long detailed description of my work week. It's been awesome but my feet are aching so badly! This ole fat girl isn't use to standing 10 hours a day. :) I'm just too tired to write it all down. Tomorrow I have 5 hours and I'm off for 3 days. Promise to catch up then.

One tiny detail. My yet to be born grandson finally has a name! Woohoo! Heaven is somewhere between 6 and 7 months. Who takes that long to pick a name! Ha! I think I had all of mine named before I was ever pregnant with them.

Oh well. Off to snuggle Meadow and hope to get in bed before midnight.

;)

It's August

The summer has flown by. Time just flies. I wish I could slow time down. I try to simplify our life and savor the moments and yet still the moments are gone before I can register that another day has passed.

Meadow is changing schools this year. She is a cheerleader. She has lots of great new things going for her this year, so please, keep her in your prayers.

I change my blog design frequently and freely thanks to Lee Lou's freebies. This time when I changed my template I also changed my scripture. I needed a new focus and God was speaking this to my heart. Lately, my emotions and anger have been so powerful and ruling. I've allowed my heart to lead me. Thinking and acting on your feelings isn't always the best thing. I know that I have stood for the right thing and that my every word has rang true, and now the Lord is saying to me, "Let go my child and Let Me."

So I'm digging into His word and praying over this situation that has been so hard for me to witness. I am going to allow Him to protect me. He has a shield of protection around me. He is my mighty warrior and He is fighting this battle for me.

My new scripture is Exodus 14:14 "The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace." KJV

So now, I hold my peace. Thank-You Father.

And on a lighter note I wanted to say, "Happy August!" Today is the first!

Lazy Monday

After working all weekend I'm thankful for a lazy Monday. Treyton and I are watching the Little Mermaid this morning.  I feel nap time coming on soon.

I've gotten both of my doggies switched over to eating raw. Suki, who is 9 weeks, has loved eating raw from the first meal. Roxy on the other hand held out for 2 whole days with nothing to eat before she began to eat raw. Now she eats it like a pro. I've been studying this for a couple of weeks and I'm hoping to see many of the benefits that I've heard of. Especially with skin, fur, and teeth issues. For the first two weeks we are doing chicken only. After that I can add in a different meat each week.

After I got off work yesterday I stopped by a friends cabin. She lives on the mountain and we had such a great visit. We talked non stop for 4 hours! We've been making it a point to get together at least every other week. She has such a sweet spirit and I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with her.

Ah well, I started this morning off with thankfulness for my husband so I will end this post with this today.

You Know Who You Are

I just thought I'd let you know that your blog posts have all been copied and printed. You also might like to know that what you posted about me on your Facebook was also copied and printed. You can hide all you want but we have evidence and proof. It's too late. The last eight years your actions, the pain you've caused to each one of your children will catch up to you. You are the one with a record a mile long. You are the one who is money hungry and steal from your own children. Everything you said about me was a lie and yet true about you. I am no hypocrite. I am real and I know my flaws. So do others that are a part of my life.

I know your mind is confused. Maybe once all of this is over you can finally get the help you need and someone can finally stop you from abusing your children. I just hope they can heal and recover from all you've done to them. The Lord knows, and He will prevail in this situation.

I feel so sorry for you. I'm not angry for me, but I am angry for those you've destroyed and those you are still trying to destroy. I'm praying for the Lord to help me deal with my emotions. It's hard to watch someone repeatedly do the same thing over for so long and never show any signs of repentance or change. Especially when they are hurting innocent children. Even though God does forgive us, when we are sincere in our repentance and turn from our sin and truly allow Him to change us, there are consequences for our actions . You haven't changed. You continue to blame everyone else when you alone are the sole cause of the situation at hand and those in the past. You'll have to realize that and accept it before you'll ever be able to move on. The one thing you never wanted was to be like your mother and yet you have allowed yourself to become the epitome of what she use to be. This battle isn't over. You may feel victorious today but this is a battle you will not win.

Hoping and praying you are well on your way to the beach. That'll be the greatest thing you could do for anyone in your family.

And I'm so glad I don't have to hide. You coward. All you have is mouth. I'm not one you want to reckon with. I will testify in court. I will not back down. I will fight for what is right for that 14 year old boy that you were too sorry to raise!

(If you feel that this relates to you then take it for what it's worth. There are no names here. My blog isn't to single anyone out. I take situations in my life and deal with them here. I have since 2007. This could apply to many in my life-it's not singled out to one family in general.)

A Beautiful Wednesday

I am babysitting my grandson Treyton this week. We've had so much fun. He's such a mess and isn't it crazy how they always say the sweetest things? He's growing up a storm. So fast I could cry. He's getting to that point that he tells me he is a big boy now. 3. A big boy. I have to smile. Little boys are so precious. I have another one coming in October. How I miss that newborn smell and sweet kisses. My Heaven is still working and still so sick. I feel so bad for her. Her belly has finally popped out. Up until this point she hasn't even really been showing. She's so little. They can't decide on a name. Of course, I am desperately trying to assist them! Ha!

Well, we are heading outside. The sun is shining brightly and the day awaits us. I praise the Lord for every blessing. Especially this beautiful day.

Update, we got the yard mowed! lol

Progress!

Other's Pain

My life is so peaceful but I see other's who are fighting a huge battle. I am in prayer for them. I am thankful that my husband and I are able to help them. God always makes a way. We live in a small community and everyone is pulling together to do all they can to help. In the end I KNOW that God is going to fix things once and for all and finally close a door that will allow them to go on and live their lives in peace. Please pray for them. Pray for the children, they've been so mentally abused for so long. Parents don't realize sometimes the damage they do their children, or maybe they do but they just don't care. Either way, the children need the protection of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Just Chilling

Happy 12th Birthday Sweet Meadow!

I can't wait until we go to our photo shoot and get to have very good pictures made of us together. I want to tell you Happy Birthday and that I cannot believe that you are 12 years old. Time is flying by and you are becoming a  young lady right before my very eyes. You are my baby girl, my youngest daughter, my last child at home. My heart strings pull hard on you. I want you to always know how proud I am of you and that I look forward to watching you become a wonderful woman.

Walk baby girl, don't run.

Listen, don't always tell.

Stand out, be proud. Never look around, be who you are.

Be kind always.

Stand up for yourself but don't be too sensitive.

Always lend a hand.

Be honest.

Have self respect and integrity.

You make a difference in each and every life that you encounter. Stay close to the Lord, dig in His word and never stop praying.

I am so blessed to call you Meadow, you, my daughter.